Quote

My son says I never tell stories about anyone who's living.

Alan King

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Alan King
Age: 76 †
Born: 1927
Born: December 26
Died: 2004
Died: May 9
Actor
Film Actor
Film Producer
Stage Actor
Writer
Brooklyn
New York
Never
Son
Says
Anyone
Living
Tell
Stories

More quotes by Alan King

Image
The world is full of little dictators trying to run your life.
Alan King
Image
I won't eat in a place that has suits of armor.
Alan King
Image
I was a high school throw-out.
Alan King
Image
Banks have a new image. Now you have 'a friend,' your friendly banker. If the banks are so friendly, how come they chain down the pens?
Alan King
Image
As life's pleasures go, food is second only to sex. Except for salami and eggs. Now that's better than sex, but only if the salami is thickly sliced.
Alan King
Image
I'm only... I'm only unhappy when the reviews are bad, but give me a good review and I'm a... I'm just screaming all over the place with joy.
Alan King
Image
My mother kept the house clean and we ate good. I didn't know we were poor until I started giving interviews.
Alan King
Image
We get the worrywart, the hypochondriac, the money-grubbing miser, the intractable negotiator... Some would say certain of these refer to the stereotypical, or 'stage' Jew. But objectively speaking, the only crime in humor is an unfunny joke.
Alan King
Image
If you stop and think about it, nearly all great humor is at the expense of someone or something.
Alan King
Image
As a parent, I'd - I'd be a better father.
Alan King
Image
You do live longer with bran, but you spend the last fifteen years on the toilet.
Alan King
Image
Let's face it: It's difficult enough to be funny without worrying about what is going to offend whom.
Alan King
Image
Eating takes a special talent. Some people are much better at it than others. In that way, it is like sex, and as with sex, it's more fun with someone who really likes it. I can't imagine having a lasting friendship with anyone who is not interested in food.
Alan King
Image
A summary of every Jewish holiday: They tried to kill us, we won, let's eat!
Alan King
Image
My mother's sister was killed in a trolley car accident, so I was raised as one of eight with my sister and six male cousins.
Alan King
Image
When I was in the hospital they gave me apple juice every morning, even after I told them I didn't like it. I had to get even. One morning, I poured the apple juice into the specimen tube. The nurse held it up and said, 'It's a little cloudy.' I took the tube from her and said, 'Let me run it through again,' and drank it. The nurse fainted.
Alan King
Image
You know you are getting old when people tell you how good you look.
Alan King
Image
I always plan dinner first thing in the morning. That's the only way I can get through the day, having a specific meal to look forward to at night.
Alan King
Image
Comedy is an amazing calling. Once you get that first laugh, it's hard to turn away. Then, of course, you're hooked and you have to learn how to survive in the business.
Alan King
Image
It's not easy being a father, but I've been allowed a comeback.
Alan King