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My son says I never tell stories about anyone who's living.

Alan King

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Alan King
Age: 76 †
Born: 1927
Born: December 26
Died: 2004
Died: May 9
Actor
Film Actor
Film Producer
Stage Actor
Writer
Brooklyn
New York
Never
Son
Says
Anyone
Living
Tell
Stories

More quotes by Alan King

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If you want to read about love and marriage, you've got to buy two separate books.
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Ed Sullivan brought me to TV first in 1952, then Garry Moore's program gave me a lot of confidence and freedom.
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When I was in the hospital they gave me apple juice every morning, even after I told them I didn't like it. I had to get even. One morning, I poured the apple juice into the specimen tube. The nurse held it up and said, 'It's a little cloudy.' I took the tube from her and said, 'Let me run it through again,' and drank it. The nurse fainted.
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I don't mind being 65, but nobody is gonna tell me to come in at 5:30 to have the early bird special.
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I'm only... I'm only unhappy when the reviews are bad, but give me a good review and I'm a... I'm just screaming all over the place with joy.
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As a parent, I'd - I'd be a better father.
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One thing I've never said in my whole life is, 'Let's have dinner at a Japanese restaurant.'
Alan King
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Comedy is a reflection. We create nothing. We set no styles, no standards. We're reflections. It's a distorted mirror in the fun house. We watch society. As society behaves, then we have the ability to make fun of it.
Alan King
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I won't eat in a place that has suits of armor.
Alan King
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When I read Dickens for the first time, I thought he was Jewish, because he wrote about oppression and bigotry, all the things that my father talked about.
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My brother is the youngest member of the College of Physicians and Surgeons. And I wouldn't let him cut my nails.
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My mother kept the house clean and we ate good. I didn't know we were poor until I started giving interviews.
Alan King
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I made it, Ma - Carnegie Hall. And I didn't have to practice.
Alan King
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Marriage is nature's way of keeping us from fighting with strangers.
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Let's face it: It's difficult enough to be funny without worrying about what is going to offend whom.
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There's nobody to believe in anymore, nobody to trust.
Alan King
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As life's pleasures go, food is second only to sex. Except for salami and eggs. Now that's better than sex, but only if the salami is thickly sliced.
Alan King
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Comedy is an amazing calling. Once you get that first laugh, it's hard to turn away. Then, of course, you're hooked and you have to learn how to survive in the business.
Alan King
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You do live longer with bran, but you spend the last fifteen years on the toilet.
Alan King
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My father helped me leave. He said, 'It's all out there, it's not here.'
Alan King