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My mother kept the house clean and we ate good. I didn't know we were poor until I started giving interviews.

Alan King

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Alan King
Age: 76 †
Born: 1927
Born: December 26
Died: 2004
Died: May 9
Actor
Film Actor
Film Producer
Stage Actor
Writer
Brooklyn
New York
Giving
Interviews
Good
Kept
Clean
Started
Poor
House
Mother
Didn

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You know you are getting old when people tell you how good you look.
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The other day my house caught fire. My lawyer said, Shouldn't be a problem. What kind of coverage do you have? I said, Fire and theft. The lawyer frowned. Uh oh. Wrong kind. Should be fire OR theft.
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Larry David finds a way to make jokes about the Holocaust. It would never have occurred to me. And it was funny.
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That's the great thing about New Year's, you get to be a year older. For me, that wasn't such a joke, because my birthday was always around this time. When I was a kid, my father used to tell me that everybody was celebrating my birthday. That's what the trees are all about.
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The world is full of little dictators trying to run your life.
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I just never saw my mother in any other room but the kitchen. There were always pots going.
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If you want to read about love and marriage, you've got to buy two separate books.
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I'm only... I'm only unhappy when the reviews are bad, but give me a good review and I'm a... I'm just screaming all over the place with joy.
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There's nobody to believe in anymore, nobody to trust.
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My son says I never tell stories about anyone who's living.
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Let's face it: It's difficult enough to be funny without worrying about what is going to offend whom.
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You do live longer with bran, but you spend the last fifteen years on the toilet.
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A summary of every Jewish holiday: They tried to kill us, we won, let's eat!
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I think one of the big things about comedy is the ability for the audience to identify.
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The ability to absorb a book and make someone else's words and story your own was exactly was I was doing on stage.
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It's not easy being a father, but I've been allowed a comeback.
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My father was a dreamer - my hero. He was a smart, tough guy from Poland, a cutter of lady's handbags, an old socialist-unionist who always considered himself a failure. His big line was: 'Don't end up like me.'
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My mother's sister was killed in a trolley car accident, so I was raised as one of eight with my sister and six male cousins.
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If you stop and think about it, nearly all great humor is at the expense of someone or something.
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One thing I've never said in my whole life is, 'Let's have dinner at a Japanese restaurant.'
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