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My mother kept the house clean and we ate good. I didn't know we were poor until I started giving interviews.
Alan King
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Alan King
Age: 76 †
Born: 1927
Born: December 26
Died: 2004
Died: May 9
Actor
Film Actor
Film Producer
Stage Actor
Writer
Brooklyn
New York
Clean
Started
Poor
House
Mother
Didn
Giving
Interviews
Good
Kept
More quotes by Alan King
The other day my house caught fire. My lawyer said, Shouldn't be a problem. What kind of coverage do you have? I said, Fire and theft. The lawyer frowned. Uh oh. Wrong kind. Should be fire OR theft.
Alan King
Ed Sullivan brought me to TV first in 1952, then Garry Moore's program gave me a lot of confidence and freedom.
Alan King
Let's face it: It's difficult enough to be funny without worrying about what is going to offend whom.
Alan King
You know you are getting old when people tell you how good you look.
Alan King
Marriage is nature's way of keeping us from fighting with strangers.
Alan King
We get the worrywart, the hypochondriac, the money-grubbing miser, the intractable negotiator... Some would say certain of these refer to the stereotypical, or 'stage' Jew. But objectively speaking, the only crime in humor is an unfunny joke.
Alan King
If you stop and think about it, nearly all great humor is at the expense of someone or something.
Alan King
As life's pleasures go, food is second only to sex. Except for salami and eggs. Now that's better than sex, but only if the salami is thickly sliced.
Alan King
Larry David finds a way to make jokes about the Holocaust. It would never have occurred to me. And it was funny.
Alan King
Modesty is not one of my virtues.
Alan King
Comedy is a reflection. We create nothing. We set no styles, no standards. We're reflections. It's a distorted mirror in the fun house. We watch society. As society behaves, then we have the ability to make fun of it.
Alan King
If you keep yourself alive and current, funny is funny.
Alan King
If you want to read about love and marriage, you've got to buy two separate books.
Alan King
I'm only... I'm only unhappy when the reviews are bad, but give me a good review and I'm a... I'm just screaming all over the place with joy.
Alan King
One thing I've never said in my whole life is, 'Let's have dinner at a Japanese restaurant.'
Alan King
A summary of every Jewish holiday: They tried to kill us, we won, let's eat!
Alan King
I made it, Ma - Carnegie Hall. And I didn't have to practice.
Alan King
The ability to absorb a book and make someone else's words and story your own was exactly was I was doing on stage.
Alan King
Milton took vaudeville, which, if you look up 'vaudeville' in the dictionary, right alongside of it, it says 'Milton Berle' - and he made it just a tremendous party.
Alan King
I had a sympathetic role in 'thirtysomething,' and in two weeks I'm going to do the role again. But in the movies, I just love the heavies. It's much more fun. Villains are a ball. People have been laughing at me for 50 years, so I love to sit in the back of the theater and listen to them hate me.
Alan King