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My father helped me leave. He said, 'It's all out there, it's not here.'

Alan King

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Alan King
Age: 76 †
Born: 1927
Born: December 26
Died: 2004
Died: May 9
Actor
Film Actor
Film Producer
Stage Actor
Writer
Brooklyn
New York
Helped
Leave
Father

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Banks have a new image. Now you have 'a friend,' your friendly banker. If the banks are so friendly, how come they chain down the pens?
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There's a charm, there's a rhythm, there's a soul to Jewish humor. When I first saw Richard Pryor perform, I told him, 'You're doing a Jewish act.'
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A summary of every Jewish holiday: They tried to kill us, we won, let's eat!
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I don't mind being 65, but nobody is gonna tell me to come in at 5:30 to have the early bird special.
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I made it, Ma - Carnegie Hall. And I didn't have to practice.
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My mother's sister was killed in a trolley car accident, so I was raised as one of eight with my sister and six male cousins.
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When I was in the hospital they gave me apple juice every morning, even after I told them I didn't like it. I had to get even. One morning, I poured the apple juice into the specimen tube. The nurse held it up and said, 'It's a little cloudy.' I took the tube from her and said, 'Let me run it through again,' and drank it. The nurse fainted.
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My son says I never tell stories about anyone who's living.
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My favorite way to spend Saturday is in and out of bed, watching sports on TV and eating.
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My father was a dreamer - my hero. He was a smart, tough guy from Poland, a cutter of lady's handbags, an old socialist-unionist who always considered himself a failure. His big line was: 'Don't end up like me.'
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Milton took vaudeville, which, if you look up 'vaudeville' in the dictionary, right alongside of it, it says 'Milton Berle' - and he made it just a tremendous party.
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When I get up in the morning, I have to decide what I'm going to have for dinner or I can't get through the day.
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I always plan dinner first thing in the morning. That's the only way I can get through the day, having a specific meal to look forward to at night.
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I just never saw my mother in any other room but the kitchen. There were always pots going.
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Marriage is nature's way of keeping us from fighting with strangers.
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One thing I've never said in my whole life is, 'Let's have dinner at a Japanese restaurant.'
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That's the great thing about New Year's, you get to be a year older. For me, that wasn't such a joke, because my birthday was always around this time. When I was a kid, my father used to tell me that everybody was celebrating my birthday. That's what the trees are all about.
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Modesty is not one of my virtues.
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You do live longer with bran, but you spend the last fifteen years on the toilet.
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