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My father helped me leave. He said, 'It's all out there, it's not here.'

Alan King

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Alan King
Age: 76 †
Born: 1927
Born: December 26
Died: 2004
Died: May 9
Actor
Film Actor
Film Producer
Stage Actor
Writer
Brooklyn
New York
Father
Helped
Leave

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If you want to read about love and marriage, you've got to buy two separate books.
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One thing I've never said in my whole life is, 'Let's have dinner at a Japanese restaurant.'
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When I was in the hospital they gave me apple juice every morning, even after I told them I didn't like it. I had to get even. One morning, I poured the apple juice into the specimen tube. The nurse held it up and said, 'It's a little cloudy.' I took the tube from her and said, 'Let me run it through again,' and drank it. The nurse fainted.
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I made it, Ma - Carnegie Hall. And I didn't have to practice.
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Comedy is an amazing calling. Once you get that first laugh, it's hard to turn away. Then, of course, you're hooked and you have to learn how to survive in the business.
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When I read Dickens for the first time, I thought he was Jewish, because he wrote about oppression and bigotry, all the things that my father talked about.
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Milton took vaudeville, which, if you look up 'vaudeville' in the dictionary, right alongside of it, it says 'Milton Berle' - and he made it just a tremendous party.
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I won't eat in a place that has suits of armor.
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I think one of the big things about comedy is the ability for the audience to identify.
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That's the great thing about New Year's, you get to be a year older. For me, that wasn't such a joke, because my birthday was always around this time. When I was a kid, my father used to tell me that everybody was celebrating my birthday. That's what the trees are all about.
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It's not easy being a father, but I've been allowed a comeback.
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There's nobody to believe in anymore, nobody to trust.
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As a parent, I'd - I'd be a better father.
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I just never saw my mother in any other room but the kitchen. There were always pots going.
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You do live longer with bran, but you spend the last fifteen years on the toilet.
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As life's pleasures go, food is second only to sex. Except for salami and eggs. Now that's better than sex, but only if the salami is thickly sliced.
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I'm only... I'm only unhappy when the reviews are bad, but give me a good review and I'm a... I'm just screaming all over the place with joy.
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We get the worrywart, the hypochondriac, the money-grubbing miser, the intractable negotiator... Some would say certain of these refer to the stereotypical, or 'stage' Jew. But objectively speaking, the only crime in humor is an unfunny joke.
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You know you are getting old when people tell you how good you look.
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The world is full of little dictators trying to run your life.
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