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My brother is the youngest member of the College of Physicians and Surgeons. And I wouldn't let him cut my nails.

Alan King

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Alan King
Age: 76 †
Born: 1927
Born: December 26
Died: 2004
Died: May 9
Actor
Film Actor
Film Producer
Stage Actor
Writer
Brooklyn
New York
Members
Cutting
Brother
Wouldn
Youngest
College
Surgeons
Physicians
Nails
Member

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Larry David finds a way to make jokes about the Holocaust. It would never have occurred to me. And it was funny.
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It's not easy being a father, but I've been allowed a comeback.
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My favorite way to spend Saturday is in and out of bed, watching sports on TV and eating.
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We get the worrywart, the hypochondriac, the money-grubbing miser, the intractable negotiator... Some would say certain of these refer to the stereotypical, or 'stage' Jew. But objectively speaking, the only crime in humor is an unfunny joke.
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My father was a dreamer - my hero. He was a smart, tough guy from Poland, a cutter of lady's handbags, an old socialist-unionist who always considered himself a failure. His big line was: 'Don't end up like me.'
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I had a sympathetic role in 'thirtysomething,' and in two weeks I'm going to do the role again. But in the movies, I just love the heavies. It's much more fun. Villains are a ball. People have been laughing at me for 50 years, so I love to sit in the back of the theater and listen to them hate me.
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I made it, Ma - Carnegie Hall. And I didn't have to practice.
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If you keep yourself alive and current, funny is funny.
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One thing I've never said in my whole life is, 'Let's have dinner at a Japanese restaurant.'
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Modesty is not one of my virtues.
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Comedy is an amazing calling. Once you get that first laugh, it's hard to turn away. Then, of course, you're hooked and you have to learn how to survive in the business.
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As life's pleasures go, food is second only to sex. Except for salami and eggs. Now that's better than sex, but only if the salami is thickly sliced.
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Milton took vaudeville, which, if you look up 'vaudeville' in the dictionary, right alongside of it, it says 'Milton Berle' - and he made it just a tremendous party.
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As a parent, I'd - I'd be a better father.
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And humor has always been a weapon. You want to get even on somebody? You want to attack somebody? Make fun of them.
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When I get up in the morning, I have to decide what I'm going to have for dinner or I can't get through the day.
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Ed Sullivan brought me to TV first in 1952, then Garry Moore's program gave me a lot of confidence and freedom.
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Banks have a new image. Now you have 'a friend,' your friendly banker. If the banks are so friendly, how come they chain down the pens?
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Marriage is nature's way of keeping us from fighting with strangers.
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My mother kept the house clean and we ate good. I didn't know we were poor until I started giving interviews.
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