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It's not easy being a father, but I've been allowed a comeback.

Alan King

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Alan King
Age: 76 †
Born: 1927
Born: December 26
Died: 2004
Died: May 9
Actor
Film Actor
Film Producer
Stage Actor
Writer
Brooklyn
New York
Comeback
Allowed
Easy
Father

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Banks have a new image. Now you have 'a friend,' your friendly banker. If the banks are so friendly, how come they chain down the pens?
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If you want to read about love and marriage, you've got to buy two separate books.
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I had a sympathetic role in 'thirtysomething,' and in two weeks I'm going to do the role again. But in the movies, I just love the heavies. It's much more fun. Villains are a ball. People have been laughing at me for 50 years, so I love to sit in the back of the theater and listen to them hate me.
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Modesty is not one of my virtues.
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I was a high school throw-out.
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As a parent, I'd - I'd be a better father.
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I always plan dinner first thing in the morning. That's the only way I can get through the day, having a specific meal to look forward to at night.
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My favorite way to spend Saturday is in and out of bed, watching sports on TV and eating.
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The world is full of little dictators trying to run your life.
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Marriage is nature's way of keeping us from fighting with strangers.
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If you stop and think about it, nearly all great humor is at the expense of someone or something.
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As life's pleasures go, food is second only to sex. Except for salami and eggs. Now that's better than sex, but only if the salami is thickly sliced.
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Comedy is an amazing calling. Once you get that first laugh, it's hard to turn away. Then, of course, you're hooked and you have to learn how to survive in the business.
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My father helped me leave. He said, 'It's all out there, it's not here.'
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I won't eat in a place that has suits of armor.
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Everything my mother made had to cook for 80 hours, and when she made matzoh balls she didn't know fluffy. Everything sank.
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A summary of every Jewish holiday: They tried to kill us, we won, let's eat!
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We get the worrywart, the hypochondriac, the money-grubbing miser, the intractable negotiator... Some would say certain of these refer to the stereotypical, or 'stage' Jew. But objectively speaking, the only crime in humor is an unfunny joke.
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There's nobody to believe in anymore, nobody to trust.
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That's the great thing about New Year's, you get to be a year older. For me, that wasn't such a joke, because my birthday was always around this time. When I was a kid, my father used to tell me that everybody was celebrating my birthday. That's what the trees are all about.
Alan King