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I won't eat in a place that has suits of armor.

Alan King

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Alan King
Age: 76 †
Born: 1927
Born: December 26
Died: 2004
Died: May 9
Actor
Film Actor
Film Producer
Stage Actor
Writer
Brooklyn
New York
Place
Armor
Suits

More quotes by Alan King

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Let's face it: It's difficult enough to be funny without worrying about what is going to offend whom.
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My brother is the youngest member of the College of Physicians and Surgeons. And I wouldn't let him cut my nails.
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You know you are getting old when people tell you how good you look.
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Comedy is an amazing calling. Once you get that first laugh, it's hard to turn away. Then, of course, you're hooked and you have to learn how to survive in the business.
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I made it, Ma - Carnegie Hall. And I didn't have to practice.
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If you keep yourself alive and current, funny is funny.
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The ability to absorb a book and make someone else's words and story your own was exactly was I was doing on stage.
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My son says I never tell stories about anyone who's living.
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And humor has always been a weapon. You want to get even on somebody? You want to attack somebody? Make fun of them.
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A summary of every Jewish holiday: They tried to kill us, we won, let's eat!
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As life's pleasures go, food is second only to sex. Except for salami and eggs. Now that's better than sex, but only if the salami is thickly sliced.
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As a parent, I'd - I'd be a better father.
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Modesty is not one of my virtues.
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The other day my house caught fire. My lawyer said, Shouldn't be a problem. What kind of coverage do you have? I said, Fire and theft. The lawyer frowned. Uh oh. Wrong kind. Should be fire OR theft.
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Larry David finds a way to make jokes about the Holocaust. It would never have occurred to me. And it was funny.
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There's a charm, there's a rhythm, there's a soul to Jewish humor. When I first saw Richard Pryor perform, I told him, 'You're doing a Jewish act.'
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I had a sympathetic role in 'thirtysomething,' and in two weeks I'm going to do the role again. But in the movies, I just love the heavies. It's much more fun. Villains are a ball. People have been laughing at me for 50 years, so I love to sit in the back of the theater and listen to them hate me.
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My mother kept the house clean and we ate good. I didn't know we were poor until I started giving interviews.
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I think one of the big things about comedy is the ability for the audience to identify.
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My mother's sister was killed in a trolley car accident, so I was raised as one of eight with my sister and six male cousins.
Alan King