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I won't eat in a place that has suits of armor.

Alan King

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Alan King
Age: 76 †
Born: 1927
Born: December 26
Died: 2004
Died: May 9
Actor
Film Actor
Film Producer
Stage Actor
Writer
Brooklyn
New York
Suits
Place
Armor

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Larry David finds a way to make jokes about the Holocaust. It would never have occurred to me. And it was funny.
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You know you are getting old when people tell you how good you look.
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Comedy is an amazing calling. Once you get that first laugh, it's hard to turn away. Then, of course, you're hooked and you have to learn how to survive in the business.
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It's not easy being a father, but I've been allowed a comeback.
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I was a high school throw-out.
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You do live longer with bran, but you spend the last fifteen years on the toilet.
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Marriage is nature's way of keeping us from fighting with strangers.
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Banks have a new image. Now you have 'a friend,' your friendly banker. If the banks are so friendly, how come they chain down the pens?
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One thing I've never said in my whole life is, 'Let's have dinner at a Japanese restaurant.'
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A summary of every Jewish holiday: They tried to kill us, we won, let's eat!
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Modesty is not one of my virtues.
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And humor has always been a weapon. You want to get even on somebody? You want to attack somebody? Make fun of them.
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My father helped me leave. He said, 'It's all out there, it's not here.'
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There's nobody to believe in anymore, nobody to trust.
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My father was a dreamer - my hero. He was a smart, tough guy from Poland, a cutter of lady's handbags, an old socialist-unionist who always considered himself a failure. His big line was: 'Don't end up like me.'
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My favorite way to spend Saturday is in and out of bed, watching sports on TV and eating.
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My mother's sister was killed in a trolley car accident, so I was raised as one of eight with my sister and six male cousins.
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The world is full of little dictators trying to run your life.
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The ability to absorb a book and make someone else's words and story your own was exactly was I was doing on stage.
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If you stop and think about it, nearly all great humor is at the expense of someone or something.
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