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I won't eat in a place that has suits of armor.

Alan King

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Alan King
Age: 76 †
Born: 1927
Born: December 26
Died: 2004
Died: May 9
Actor
Film Actor
Film Producer
Stage Actor
Writer
Brooklyn
New York
Suits
Place
Armor

More quotes by Alan King

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Comedy is a reflection. We create nothing. We set no styles, no standards. We're reflections. It's a distorted mirror in the fun house. We watch society. As society behaves, then we have the ability to make fun of it.
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Ed Sullivan brought me to TV first in 1952, then Garry Moore's program gave me a lot of confidence and freedom.
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Banks have a new image. Now you have 'a friend,' your friendly banker. If the banks are so friendly, how come they chain down the pens?
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Larry David finds a way to make jokes about the Holocaust. It would never have occurred to me. And it was funny.
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As life's pleasures go, food is second only to sex. Except for salami and eggs. Now that's better than sex, but only if the salami is thickly sliced.
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As a parent, I'd - I'd be a better father.
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I'm only... I'm only unhappy when the reviews are bad, but give me a good review and I'm a... I'm just screaming all over the place with joy.
Alan King
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When I was in the hospital they gave me apple juice every morning, even after I told them I didn't like it. I had to get even. One morning, I poured the apple juice into the specimen tube. The nurse held it up and said, 'It's a little cloudy.' I took the tube from her and said, 'Let me run it through again,' and drank it. The nurse fainted.
Alan King
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I just never saw my mother in any other room but the kitchen. There were always pots going.
Alan King
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My mother's sister was killed in a trolley car accident, so I was raised as one of eight with my sister and six male cousins.
Alan King
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And humor has always been a weapon. You want to get even on somebody? You want to attack somebody? Make fun of them.
Alan King
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You do live longer with bran, but you spend the last fifteen years on the toilet.
Alan King
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I always plan dinner first thing in the morning. That's the only way I can get through the day, having a specific meal to look forward to at night.
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If you keep yourself alive and current, funny is funny.
Alan King
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Eating takes a special talent. Some people are much better at it than others. In that way, it is like sex, and as with sex, it's more fun with someone who really likes it. I can't imagine having a lasting friendship with anyone who is not interested in food.
Alan King
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Let's face it: It's difficult enough to be funny without worrying about what is going to offend whom.
Alan King
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There's nobody to believe in anymore, nobody to trust.
Alan King
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Milton took vaudeville, which, if you look up 'vaudeville' in the dictionary, right alongside of it, it says 'Milton Berle' - and he made it just a tremendous party.
Alan King
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My son says I never tell stories about anyone who's living.
Alan King
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One thing I've never said in my whole life is, 'Let's have dinner at a Japanese restaurant.'
Alan King