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I won't eat in a place that has suits of armor.

Alan King

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Alan King
Age: 76 †
Born: 1927
Born: December 26
Died: 2004
Died: May 9
Actor
Film Actor
Film Producer
Stage Actor
Writer
Brooklyn
New York
Armor
Suits
Place

More quotes by Alan King

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Eating takes a special talent. Some people are much better at it than others. In that way, it is like sex, and as with sex, it's more fun with someone who really likes it. I can't imagine having a lasting friendship with anyone who is not interested in food.
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I think one of the big things about comedy is the ability for the audience to identify.
Alan King
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Modesty is not one of my virtues.
Alan King
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My favorite way to spend Saturday is in and out of bed, watching sports on TV and eating.
Alan King
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Banks have a new image. Now you have 'a friend,' your friendly banker. If the banks are so friendly, how come they chain down the pens?
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And humor has always been a weapon. You want to get even on somebody? You want to attack somebody? Make fun of them.
Alan King
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The ability to absorb a book and make someone else's words and story your own was exactly was I was doing on stage.
Alan King
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Let's face it: It's difficult enough to be funny without worrying about what is going to offend whom.
Alan King
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Milton took vaudeville, which, if you look up 'vaudeville' in the dictionary, right alongside of it, it says 'Milton Berle' - and he made it just a tremendous party.
Alan King
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My mother's sister was killed in a trolley car accident, so I was raised as one of eight with my sister and six male cousins.
Alan King
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My mother kept the house clean and we ate good. I didn't know we were poor until I started giving interviews.
Alan King
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Larry David finds a way to make jokes about the Holocaust. It would never have occurred to me. And it was funny.
Alan King
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You know you are getting old when people tell you how good you look.
Alan King
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As life's pleasures go, food is second only to sex. Except for salami and eggs. Now that's better than sex, but only if the salami is thickly sliced.
Alan King
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That's the great thing about New Year's, you get to be a year older. For me, that wasn't such a joke, because my birthday was always around this time. When I was a kid, my father used to tell me that everybody was celebrating my birthday. That's what the trees are all about.
Alan King
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One thing I've never said in my whole life is, 'Let's have dinner at a Japanese restaurant.'
Alan King
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When I was in the hospital they gave me apple juice every morning, even after I told them I didn't like it. I had to get even. One morning, I poured the apple juice into the specimen tube. The nurse held it up and said, 'It's a little cloudy.' I took the tube from her and said, 'Let me run it through again,' and drank it. The nurse fainted.
Alan King
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I always plan dinner first thing in the morning. That's the only way I can get through the day, having a specific meal to look forward to at night.
Alan King
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When I get up in the morning, I have to decide what I'm going to have for dinner or I can't get through the day.
Alan King
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Comedy is a reflection. We create nothing. We set no styles, no standards. We're reflections. It's a distorted mirror in the fun house. We watch society. As society behaves, then we have the ability to make fun of it.
Alan King