Quote

I won't eat in a place that has suits of armor.

Alan King

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Alan King
Age: 76 †
Born: 1927
Born: December 26
Died: 2004
Died: May 9
Actor
Film Actor
Film Producer
Stage Actor
Writer
Brooklyn
New York
Armor
Suits
Place

More quotes by Alan King

Image
I made it, Ma - Carnegie Hall. And I didn't have to practice.
Alan King
Image
The other day my house caught fire. My lawyer said, Shouldn't be a problem. What kind of coverage do you have? I said, Fire and theft. The lawyer frowned. Uh oh. Wrong kind. Should be fire OR theft.
Alan King
Image
Marriage is nature's way of keeping us from fighting with strangers.
Alan King
Image
I just never saw my mother in any other room but the kitchen. There were always pots going.
Alan King
Image
There's nobody to believe in anymore, nobody to trust.
Alan King
Image
Let's face it: It's difficult enough to be funny without worrying about what is going to offend whom.
Alan King
Image
If you stop and think about it, nearly all great humor is at the expense of someone or something.
Alan King
Image
You do live longer with bran, but you spend the last fifteen years on the toilet.
Alan King
Image
The ability to absorb a book and make someone else's words and story your own was exactly was I was doing on stage.
Alan King
Image
My father was a dreamer - my hero. He was a smart, tough guy from Poland, a cutter of lady's handbags, an old socialist-unionist who always considered himself a failure. His big line was: 'Don't end up like me.'
Alan King
Image
One thing I've never said in my whole life is, 'Let's have dinner at a Japanese restaurant.'
Alan King
Image
My son says I never tell stories about anyone who's living.
Alan King
Image
Larry David finds a way to make jokes about the Holocaust. It would never have occurred to me. And it was funny.
Alan King
Image
I was a high school throw-out.
Alan King
Image
When I was in the hospital they gave me apple juice every morning, even after I told them I didn't like it. I had to get even. One morning, I poured the apple juice into the specimen tube. The nurse held it up and said, 'It's a little cloudy.' I took the tube from her and said, 'Let me run it through again,' and drank it. The nurse fainted.
Alan King
Image
The world is full of little dictators trying to run your life.
Alan King
Image
My mother kept the house clean and we ate good. I didn't know we were poor until I started giving interviews.
Alan King
Image
That's the great thing about New Year's, you get to be a year older. For me, that wasn't such a joke, because my birthday was always around this time. When I was a kid, my father used to tell me that everybody was celebrating my birthday. That's what the trees are all about.
Alan King
Image
There's a charm, there's a rhythm, there's a soul to Jewish humor. When I first saw Richard Pryor perform, I told him, 'You're doing a Jewish act.'
Alan King
Image
If you keep yourself alive and current, funny is funny.
Alan King