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I won't eat in a place that has suits of armor.
Alan King
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Alan King
Age: 76 †
Born: 1927
Born: December 26
Died: 2004
Died: May 9
Actor
Film Actor
Film Producer
Stage Actor
Writer
Brooklyn
New York
Armor
Suits
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More quotes by Alan King
My mother's sister was killed in a trolley car accident, so I was raised as one of eight with my sister and six male cousins.
Alan King
You do live longer with bran, but you spend the last fifteen years on the toilet.
Alan King
I just never saw my mother in any other room but the kitchen. There were always pots going.
Alan King
My father was a dreamer - my hero. He was a smart, tough guy from Poland, a cutter of lady's handbags, an old socialist-unionist who always considered himself a failure. His big line was: 'Don't end up like me.'
Alan King
When I was in the hospital they gave me apple juice every morning, even after I told them I didn't like it. I had to get even. One morning, I poured the apple juice into the specimen tube. The nurse held it up and said, 'It's a little cloudy.' I took the tube from her and said, 'Let me run it through again,' and drank it. The nurse fainted.
Alan King
Larry David finds a way to make jokes about the Holocaust. It would never have occurred to me. And it was funny.
Alan King
My father helped me leave. He said, 'It's all out there, it's not here.'
Alan King
When I get up in the morning, I have to decide what I'm going to have for dinner or I can't get through the day.
Alan King
The other day my house caught fire. My lawyer said, Shouldn't be a problem. What kind of coverage do you have? I said, Fire and theft. The lawyer frowned. Uh oh. Wrong kind. Should be fire OR theft.
Alan King
I had a sympathetic role in 'thirtysomething,' and in two weeks I'm going to do the role again. But in the movies, I just love the heavies. It's much more fun. Villains are a ball. People have been laughing at me for 50 years, so I love to sit in the back of the theater and listen to them hate me.
Alan King
The world is full of little dictators trying to run your life.
Alan King
I was a high school throw-out.
Alan King
I think one of the big things about comedy is the ability for the audience to identify.
Alan King
Eating takes a special talent. Some people are much better at it than others. In that way, it is like sex, and as with sex, it's more fun with someone who really likes it. I can't imagine having a lasting friendship with anyone who is not interested in food.
Alan King
A summary of every Jewish holiday: They tried to kill us, we won, let's eat!
Alan King
Milton took vaudeville, which, if you look up 'vaudeville' in the dictionary, right alongside of it, it says 'Milton Berle' - and he made it just a tremendous party.
Alan King
If you want to read about love and marriage, you've got to buy two separate books.
Alan King
Banks have a new image. Now you have 'a friend,' your friendly banker. If the banks are so friendly, how come they chain down the pens?
Alan King
There's nobody to believe in anymore, nobody to trust.
Alan King
It's not easy being a father, but I've been allowed a comeback.
Alan King