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I was a high school throw-out.

Alan King

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Alan King
Age: 76 †
Born: 1927
Born: December 26
Died: 2004
Died: May 9
Actor
Film Actor
Film Producer
Stage Actor
Writer
Brooklyn
New York
Throw
High
School

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I made it, Ma - Carnegie Hall. And I didn't have to practice.
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Ed Sullivan brought me to TV first in 1952, then Garry Moore's program gave me a lot of confidence and freedom.
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And humor has always been a weapon. You want to get even on somebody? You want to attack somebody? Make fun of them.
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You know you are getting old when people tell you how good you look.
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When I get up in the morning, I have to decide what I'm going to have for dinner or I can't get through the day.
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Eating takes a special talent. Some people are much better at it than others. In that way, it is like sex, and as with sex, it's more fun with someone who really likes it. I can't imagine having a lasting friendship with anyone who is not interested in food.
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When I read Dickens for the first time, I thought he was Jewish, because he wrote about oppression and bigotry, all the things that my father talked about.
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I had a sympathetic role in 'thirtysomething,' and in two weeks I'm going to do the role again. But in the movies, I just love the heavies. It's much more fun. Villains are a ball. People have been laughing at me for 50 years, so I love to sit in the back of the theater and listen to them hate me.
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There's nobody to believe in anymore, nobody to trust.
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My brother is the youngest member of the College of Physicians and Surgeons. And I wouldn't let him cut my nails.
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A summary of every Jewish holiday: They tried to kill us, we won, let's eat!
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My favorite way to spend Saturday is in and out of bed, watching sports on TV and eating.
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Larry David finds a way to make jokes about the Holocaust. It would never have occurred to me. And it was funny.
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My son says I never tell stories about anyone who's living.
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Comedy is an amazing calling. Once you get that first laugh, it's hard to turn away. Then, of course, you're hooked and you have to learn how to survive in the business.
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The world is full of little dictators trying to run your life.
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As life's pleasures go, food is second only to sex. Except for salami and eggs. Now that's better than sex, but only if the salami is thickly sliced.
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I think one of the big things about comedy is the ability for the audience to identify.
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Everything my mother made had to cook for 80 hours, and when she made matzoh balls she didn't know fluffy. Everything sank.
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If you keep yourself alive and current, funny is funny.
Alan King