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I made it, Ma - Carnegie Hall. And I didn't have to practice.

Alan King

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Alan King
Age: 76 †
Born: 1927
Born: December 26
Died: 2004
Died: May 9
Actor
Film Actor
Film Producer
Stage Actor
Writer
Brooklyn
New York
Made
Carnegie
Hall
Halls
Practice
Didn

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You do live longer with bran, but you spend the last fifteen years on the toilet.
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My mother kept the house clean and we ate good. I didn't know we were poor until I started giving interviews.
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I think one of the big things about comedy is the ability for the audience to identify.
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My mother's sister was killed in a trolley car accident, so I was raised as one of eight with my sister and six male cousins.
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I won't eat in a place that has suits of armor.
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Let's face it: It's difficult enough to be funny without worrying about what is going to offend whom.
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The ability to absorb a book and make someone else's words and story your own was exactly was I was doing on stage.
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If you stop and think about it, nearly all great humor is at the expense of someone or something.
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I just never saw my mother in any other room but the kitchen. There were always pots going.
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As a parent, I'd - I'd be a better father.
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You know you are getting old when people tell you how good you look.
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There's a charm, there's a rhythm, there's a soul to Jewish humor. When I first saw Richard Pryor perform, I told him, 'You're doing a Jewish act.'
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If you want to read about love and marriage, you've got to buy two separate books.
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If you keep yourself alive and current, funny is funny.
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Eating takes a special talent. Some people are much better at it than others. In that way, it is like sex, and as with sex, it's more fun with someone who really likes it. I can't imagine having a lasting friendship with anyone who is not interested in food.
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Banks have a new image. Now you have 'a friend,' your friendly banker. If the banks are so friendly, how come they chain down the pens?
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I always plan dinner first thing in the morning. That's the only way I can get through the day, having a specific meal to look forward to at night.
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Ed Sullivan brought me to TV first in 1952, then Garry Moore's program gave me a lot of confidence and freedom.
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Marriage is nature's way of keeping us from fighting with strangers.
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We get the worrywart, the hypochondriac, the money-grubbing miser, the intractable negotiator... Some would say certain of these refer to the stereotypical, or 'stage' Jew. But objectively speaking, the only crime in humor is an unfunny joke.
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