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I made it, Ma - Carnegie Hall. And I didn't have to practice.

Alan King

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Alan King
Age: 76 †
Born: 1927
Born: December 26
Died: 2004
Died: May 9
Actor
Film Actor
Film Producer
Stage Actor
Writer
Brooklyn
New York
Halls
Practice
Didn
Made
Carnegie
Hall

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Ed Sullivan brought me to TV first in 1952, then Garry Moore's program gave me a lot of confidence and freedom.
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Comedy is a reflection. We create nothing. We set no styles, no standards. We're reflections. It's a distorted mirror in the fun house. We watch society. As society behaves, then we have the ability to make fun of it.
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The world is full of little dictators trying to run your life.
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Everything my mother made had to cook for 80 hours, and when she made matzoh balls she didn't know fluffy. Everything sank.
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There's a charm, there's a rhythm, there's a soul to Jewish humor. When I first saw Richard Pryor perform, I told him, 'You're doing a Jewish act.'
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My mother kept the house clean and we ate good. I didn't know we were poor until I started giving interviews.
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My mother's sister was killed in a trolley car accident, so I was raised as one of eight with my sister and six male cousins.
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You know you are getting old when people tell you how good you look.
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I think one of the big things about comedy is the ability for the audience to identify.
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If you want to read about love and marriage, you've got to buy two separate books.
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And humor has always been a weapon. You want to get even on somebody? You want to attack somebody? Make fun of them.
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I was a high school throw-out.
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As life's pleasures go, food is second only to sex. Except for salami and eggs. Now that's better than sex, but only if the salami is thickly sliced.
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It's not easy being a father, but I've been allowed a comeback.
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Let's face it: It's difficult enough to be funny without worrying about what is going to offend whom.
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Larry David finds a way to make jokes about the Holocaust. It would never have occurred to me. And it was funny.
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That's the great thing about New Year's, you get to be a year older. For me, that wasn't such a joke, because my birthday was always around this time. When I was a kid, my father used to tell me that everybody was celebrating my birthday. That's what the trees are all about.
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My father helped me leave. He said, 'It's all out there, it's not here.'
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Milton took vaudeville, which, if you look up 'vaudeville' in the dictionary, right alongside of it, it says 'Milton Berle' - and he made it just a tremendous party.
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My son says I never tell stories about anyone who's living.
Alan King