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I made it, Ma - Carnegie Hall. And I didn't have to practice.

Alan King

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Alan King
Age: 76 †
Born: 1927
Born: December 26
Died: 2004
Died: May 9
Actor
Film Actor
Film Producer
Stage Actor
Writer
Brooklyn
New York
Halls
Practice
Didn
Made
Carnegie
Hall

More quotes by Alan King

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If you want to read about love and marriage, you've got to buy two separate books.
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There's nobody to believe in anymore, nobody to trust.
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It's not easy being a father, but I've been allowed a comeback.
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My mother kept the house clean and we ate good. I didn't know we were poor until I started giving interviews.
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As life's pleasures go, food is second only to sex. Except for salami and eggs. Now that's better than sex, but only if the salami is thickly sliced.
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I don't mind being 65, but nobody is gonna tell me to come in at 5:30 to have the early bird special.
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The ability to absorb a book and make someone else's words and story your own was exactly was I was doing on stage.
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Comedy is a reflection. We create nothing. We set no styles, no standards. We're reflections. It's a distorted mirror in the fun house. We watch society. As society behaves, then we have the ability to make fun of it.
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I won't eat in a place that has suits of armor.
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When I was in the hospital they gave me apple juice every morning, even after I told them I didn't like it. I had to get even. One morning, I poured the apple juice into the specimen tube. The nurse held it up and said, 'It's a little cloudy.' I took the tube from her and said, 'Let me run it through again,' and drank it. The nurse fainted.
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Comedy is an amazing calling. Once you get that first laugh, it's hard to turn away. Then, of course, you're hooked and you have to learn how to survive in the business.
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The other day my house caught fire. My lawyer said, Shouldn't be a problem. What kind of coverage do you have? I said, Fire and theft. The lawyer frowned. Uh oh. Wrong kind. Should be fire OR theft.
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Ed Sullivan brought me to TV first in 1952, then Garry Moore's program gave me a lot of confidence and freedom.
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We get the worrywart, the hypochondriac, the money-grubbing miser, the intractable negotiator... Some would say certain of these refer to the stereotypical, or 'stage' Jew. But objectively speaking, the only crime in humor is an unfunny joke.
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Marriage is nature's way of keeping us from fighting with strangers.
Alan King
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One thing I've never said in my whole life is, 'Let's have dinner at a Japanese restaurant.'
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You know you are getting old when people tell you how good you look.
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Larry David finds a way to make jokes about the Holocaust. It would never have occurred to me. And it was funny.
Alan King
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You do live longer with bran, but you spend the last fifteen years on the toilet.
Alan King
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There's a charm, there's a rhythm, there's a soul to Jewish humor. When I first saw Richard Pryor perform, I told him, 'You're doing a Jewish act.'
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