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I just never saw my mother in any other room but the kitchen. There were always pots going.

Alan King

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Alan King
Age: 76 †
Born: 1927
Born: December 26
Died: 2004
Died: May 9
Actor
Film Actor
Film Producer
Stage Actor
Writer
Brooklyn
New York
Always
Pots
Never
Pot
Kitchen
Saws
Room
Rooms
Mother
Going

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You do live longer with bran, but you spend the last fifteen years on the toilet.
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I always plan dinner first thing in the morning. That's the only way I can get through the day, having a specific meal to look forward to at night.
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If you keep yourself alive and current, funny is funny.
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My father was a dreamer - my hero. He was a smart, tough guy from Poland, a cutter of lady's handbags, an old socialist-unionist who always considered himself a failure. His big line was: 'Don't end up like me.'
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I don't mind being 65, but nobody is gonna tell me to come in at 5:30 to have the early bird special.
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I made it, Ma - Carnegie Hall. And I didn't have to practice.
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When I get up in the morning, I have to decide what I'm going to have for dinner or I can't get through the day.
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Modesty is not one of my virtues.
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It's not easy being a father, but I've been allowed a comeback.
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Comedy is a reflection. We create nothing. We set no styles, no standards. We're reflections. It's a distorted mirror in the fun house. We watch society. As society behaves, then we have the ability to make fun of it.
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Milton took vaudeville, which, if you look up 'vaudeville' in the dictionary, right alongside of it, it says 'Milton Berle' - and he made it just a tremendous party.
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You know you are getting old when people tell you how good you look.
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My mother's sister was killed in a trolley car accident, so I was raised as one of eight with my sister and six male cousins.
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Eating takes a special talent. Some people are much better at it than others. In that way, it is like sex, and as with sex, it's more fun with someone who really likes it. I can't imagine having a lasting friendship with anyone who is not interested in food.
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The other day my house caught fire. My lawyer said, Shouldn't be a problem. What kind of coverage do you have? I said, Fire and theft. The lawyer frowned. Uh oh. Wrong kind. Should be fire OR theft.
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The ability to absorb a book and make someone else's words and story your own was exactly was I was doing on stage.
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There's nobody to believe in anymore, nobody to trust.
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If you stop and think about it, nearly all great humor is at the expense of someone or something.
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I won't eat in a place that has suits of armor.
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We get the worrywart, the hypochondriac, the money-grubbing miser, the intractable negotiator... Some would say certain of these refer to the stereotypical, or 'stage' Jew. But objectively speaking, the only crime in humor is an unfunny joke.
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