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I don't mind being 65, but nobody is gonna tell me to come in at 5:30 to have the early bird special.
Alan King
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Alan King
Age: 76 †
Born: 1927
Born: December 26
Died: 2004
Died: May 9
Actor
Film Actor
Film Producer
Stage Actor
Writer
Brooklyn
New York
Tell
Come
Mind
Gonna
Bird
Early
Nobody
Special
More quotes by Alan King
Let's face it: It's difficult enough to be funny without worrying about what is going to offend whom.
Alan King
Milton took vaudeville, which, if you look up 'vaudeville' in the dictionary, right alongside of it, it says 'Milton Berle' - and he made it just a tremendous party.
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Banks have a new image. Now you have 'a friend,' your friendly banker. If the banks are so friendly, how come they chain down the pens?
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Ed Sullivan brought me to TV first in 1952, then Garry Moore's program gave me a lot of confidence and freedom.
Alan King
When I get up in the morning, I have to decide what I'm going to have for dinner or I can't get through the day.
Alan King
A summary of every Jewish holiday: They tried to kill us, we won, let's eat!
Alan King
I always plan dinner first thing in the morning. That's the only way I can get through the day, having a specific meal to look forward to at night.
Alan King
You know you are getting old when people tell you how good you look.
Alan King
My mother's sister was killed in a trolley car accident, so I was raised as one of eight with my sister and six male cousins.
Alan King
The ability to absorb a book and make someone else's words and story your own was exactly was I was doing on stage.
Alan King
Everything my mother made had to cook for 80 hours, and when she made matzoh balls she didn't know fluffy. Everything sank.
Alan King
Marriage is nature's way of keeping us from fighting with strangers.
Alan King
My father was a dreamer - my hero. He was a smart, tough guy from Poland, a cutter of lady's handbags, an old socialist-unionist who always considered himself a failure. His big line was: 'Don't end up like me.'
Alan King
That's the great thing about New Year's, you get to be a year older. For me, that wasn't such a joke, because my birthday was always around this time. When I was a kid, my father used to tell me that everybody was celebrating my birthday. That's what the trees are all about.
Alan King
If you want to read about love and marriage, you've got to buy two separate books.
Alan King
The other day my house caught fire. My lawyer said, Shouldn't be a problem. What kind of coverage do you have? I said, Fire and theft. The lawyer frowned. Uh oh. Wrong kind. Should be fire OR theft.
Alan King
One thing I've never said in my whole life is, 'Let's have dinner at a Japanese restaurant.'
Alan King
My mother kept the house clean and we ate good. I didn't know we were poor until I started giving interviews.
Alan King
We get the worrywart, the hypochondriac, the money-grubbing miser, the intractable negotiator... Some would say certain of these refer to the stereotypical, or 'stage' Jew. But objectively speaking, the only crime in humor is an unfunny joke.
Alan King
My father helped me leave. He said, 'It's all out there, it's not here.'
Alan King