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I don't mind being 65, but nobody is gonna tell me to come in at 5:30 to have the early bird special.

Alan King

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Alan King
Age: 76 †
Born: 1927
Born: December 26
Died: 2004
Died: May 9
Actor
Film Actor
Film Producer
Stage Actor
Writer
Brooklyn
New York
Tell
Come
Mind
Gonna
Bird
Early
Nobody
Special

More quotes by Alan King

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Let's face it: It's difficult enough to be funny without worrying about what is going to offend whom.
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Milton took vaudeville, which, if you look up 'vaudeville' in the dictionary, right alongside of it, it says 'Milton Berle' - and he made it just a tremendous party.
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Banks have a new image. Now you have 'a friend,' your friendly banker. If the banks are so friendly, how come they chain down the pens?
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Ed Sullivan brought me to TV first in 1952, then Garry Moore's program gave me a lot of confidence and freedom.
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When I get up in the morning, I have to decide what I'm going to have for dinner or I can't get through the day.
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A summary of every Jewish holiday: They tried to kill us, we won, let's eat!
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I always plan dinner first thing in the morning. That's the only way I can get through the day, having a specific meal to look forward to at night.
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You know you are getting old when people tell you how good you look.
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My mother's sister was killed in a trolley car accident, so I was raised as one of eight with my sister and six male cousins.
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The ability to absorb a book and make someone else's words and story your own was exactly was I was doing on stage.
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Everything my mother made had to cook for 80 hours, and when she made matzoh balls she didn't know fluffy. Everything sank.
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Marriage is nature's way of keeping us from fighting with strangers.
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My father was a dreamer - my hero. He was a smart, tough guy from Poland, a cutter of lady's handbags, an old socialist-unionist who always considered himself a failure. His big line was: 'Don't end up like me.'
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That's the great thing about New Year's, you get to be a year older. For me, that wasn't such a joke, because my birthday was always around this time. When I was a kid, my father used to tell me that everybody was celebrating my birthday. That's what the trees are all about.
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If you want to read about love and marriage, you've got to buy two separate books.
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The other day my house caught fire. My lawyer said, Shouldn't be a problem. What kind of coverage do you have? I said, Fire and theft. The lawyer frowned. Uh oh. Wrong kind. Should be fire OR theft.
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One thing I've never said in my whole life is, 'Let's have dinner at a Japanese restaurant.'
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My mother kept the house clean and we ate good. I didn't know we were poor until I started giving interviews.
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We get the worrywart, the hypochondriac, the money-grubbing miser, the intractable negotiator... Some would say certain of these refer to the stereotypical, or 'stage' Jew. But objectively speaking, the only crime in humor is an unfunny joke.
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My father helped me leave. He said, 'It's all out there, it's not here.'
Alan King