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I don't mind being 65, but nobody is gonna tell me to come in at 5:30 to have the early bird special.
Alan King
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Alan King
Age: 76 †
Born: 1927
Born: December 26
Died: 2004
Died: May 9
Actor
Film Actor
Film Producer
Stage Actor
Writer
Brooklyn
New York
Mind
Gonna
Bird
Early
Nobody
Special
Tell
Come
More quotes by Alan King
Milton took vaudeville, which, if you look up 'vaudeville' in the dictionary, right alongside of it, it says 'Milton Berle' - and he made it just a tremendous party.
Alan King
We get the worrywart, the hypochondriac, the money-grubbing miser, the intractable negotiator... Some would say certain of these refer to the stereotypical, or 'stage' Jew. But objectively speaking, the only crime in humor is an unfunny joke.
Alan King
Eating takes a special talent. Some people are much better at it than others. In that way, it is like sex, and as with sex, it's more fun with someone who really likes it. I can't imagine having a lasting friendship with anyone who is not interested in food.
Alan King
Everything my mother made had to cook for 80 hours, and when she made matzoh balls she didn't know fluffy. Everything sank.
Alan King
One thing I've never said in my whole life is, 'Let's have dinner at a Japanese restaurant.'
Alan King
My mother's sister was killed in a trolley car accident, so I was raised as one of eight with my sister and six male cousins.
Alan King
I made it, Ma - Carnegie Hall. And I didn't have to practice.
Alan King
I was a high school throw-out.
Alan King
It's not easy being a father, but I've been allowed a comeback.
Alan King
The ability to absorb a book and make someone else's words and story your own was exactly was I was doing on stage.
Alan King
My father was a dreamer - my hero. He was a smart, tough guy from Poland, a cutter of lady's handbags, an old socialist-unionist who always considered himself a failure. His big line was: 'Don't end up like me.'
Alan King
You do live longer with bran, but you spend the last fifteen years on the toilet.
Alan King
My mother kept the house clean and we ate good. I didn't know we were poor until I started giving interviews.
Alan King
I had a sympathetic role in 'thirtysomething,' and in two weeks I'm going to do the role again. But in the movies, I just love the heavies. It's much more fun. Villains are a ball. People have been laughing at me for 50 years, so I love to sit in the back of the theater and listen to them hate me.
Alan King
That's the great thing about New Year's, you get to be a year older. For me, that wasn't such a joke, because my birthday was always around this time. When I was a kid, my father used to tell me that everybody was celebrating my birthday. That's what the trees are all about.
Alan King
Let's face it: It's difficult enough to be funny without worrying about what is going to offend whom.
Alan King
When I get up in the morning, I have to decide what I'm going to have for dinner or I can't get through the day.
Alan King
When I read Dickens for the first time, I thought he was Jewish, because he wrote about oppression and bigotry, all the things that my father talked about.
Alan King
Larry David finds a way to make jokes about the Holocaust. It would never have occurred to me. And it was funny.
Alan King
Comedy is an amazing calling. Once you get that first laugh, it's hard to turn away. Then, of course, you're hooked and you have to learn how to survive in the business.
Alan King