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Everything my mother made had to cook for 80 hours, and when she made matzoh balls she didn't know fluffy. Everything sank.
Alan King
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Alan King
Age: 76 †
Born: 1927
Born: December 26
Died: 2004
Died: May 9
Actor
Film Actor
Film Producer
Stage Actor
Writer
Brooklyn
New York
Cooks
Balls
Hours
Mother
Didn
Everything
Sank
Made
Fluffy
Cook
More quotes by Alan King
We get the worrywart, the hypochondriac, the money-grubbing miser, the intractable negotiator... Some would say certain of these refer to the stereotypical, or 'stage' Jew. But objectively speaking, the only crime in humor is an unfunny joke.
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My mother kept the house clean and we ate good. I didn't know we were poor until I started giving interviews.
Alan King
My brother is the youngest member of the College of Physicians and Surgeons. And I wouldn't let him cut my nails.
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Comedy is an amazing calling. Once you get that first laugh, it's hard to turn away. Then, of course, you're hooked and you have to learn how to survive in the business.
Alan King
Marriage is nature's way of keeping us from fighting with strangers.
Alan King
I just never saw my mother in any other room but the kitchen. There were always pots going.
Alan King
If you want to read about love and marriage, you've got to buy two separate books.
Alan King
It's not easy being a father, but I've been allowed a comeback.
Alan King
One thing I've never said in my whole life is, 'Let's have dinner at a Japanese restaurant.'
Alan King
Let's face it: It's difficult enough to be funny without worrying about what is going to offend whom.
Alan King
The ability to absorb a book and make someone else's words and story your own was exactly was I was doing on stage.
Alan King
As a parent, I'd - I'd be a better father.
Alan King
And humor has always been a weapon. You want to get even on somebody? You want to attack somebody? Make fun of them.
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My son says I never tell stories about anyone who's living.
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Eating takes a special talent. Some people are much better at it than others. In that way, it is like sex, and as with sex, it's more fun with someone who really likes it. I can't imagine having a lasting friendship with anyone who is not interested in food.
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A summary of every Jewish holiday: They tried to kill us, we won, let's eat!
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There's nobody to believe in anymore, nobody to trust.
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I was a high school throw-out.
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As life's pleasures go, food is second only to sex. Except for salami and eggs. Now that's better than sex, but only if the salami is thickly sliced.
Alan King
I made it, Ma - Carnegie Hall. And I didn't have to practice.
Alan King