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As a parent, I'd - I'd be a better father.

Alan King

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Alan King
Age: 76 †
Born: 1927
Born: December 26
Died: 2004
Died: May 9
Actor
Film Actor
Film Producer
Stage Actor
Writer
Brooklyn
New York
Father
Better
Parent

More quotes by Alan King

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If you stop and think about it, nearly all great humor is at the expense of someone or something.
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As life's pleasures go, food is second only to sex. Except for salami and eggs. Now that's better than sex, but only if the salami is thickly sliced.
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My son says I never tell stories about anyone who's living.
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If you want to read about love and marriage, you've got to buy two separate books.
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I always plan dinner first thing in the morning. That's the only way I can get through the day, having a specific meal to look forward to at night.
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If you keep yourself alive and current, funny is funny.
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I think one of the big things about comedy is the ability for the audience to identify.
Alan King
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I was a high school throw-out.
Alan King
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My father helped me leave. He said, 'It's all out there, it's not here.'
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I just never saw my mother in any other room but the kitchen. There were always pots going.
Alan King
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Eating takes a special talent. Some people are much better at it than others. In that way, it is like sex, and as with sex, it's more fun with someone who really likes it. I can't imagine having a lasting friendship with anyone who is not interested in food.
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Comedy is a reflection. We create nothing. We set no styles, no standards. We're reflections. It's a distorted mirror in the fun house. We watch society. As society behaves, then we have the ability to make fun of it.
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It's not easy being a father, but I've been allowed a comeback.
Alan King
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When I get up in the morning, I have to decide what I'm going to have for dinner or I can't get through the day.
Alan King
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I won't eat in a place that has suits of armor.
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There's a charm, there's a rhythm, there's a soul to Jewish humor. When I first saw Richard Pryor perform, I told him, 'You're doing a Jewish act.'
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That's the great thing about New Year's, you get to be a year older. For me, that wasn't such a joke, because my birthday was always around this time. When I was a kid, my father used to tell me that everybody was celebrating my birthday. That's what the trees are all about.
Alan King
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I don't mind being 65, but nobody is gonna tell me to come in at 5:30 to have the early bird special.
Alan King
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The other day my house caught fire. My lawyer said, Shouldn't be a problem. What kind of coverage do you have? I said, Fire and theft. The lawyer frowned. Uh oh. Wrong kind. Should be fire OR theft.
Alan King
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You do live longer with bran, but you spend the last fifteen years on the toilet.
Alan King