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As a parent, I'd - I'd be a better father.
Alan King
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Alan King
Age: 76 †
Born: 1927
Born: December 26
Died: 2004
Died: May 9
Actor
Film Actor
Film Producer
Stage Actor
Writer
Brooklyn
New York
Father
Better
Parent
More quotes by Alan King
If you stop and think about it, nearly all great humor is at the expense of someone or something.
Alan King
As life's pleasures go, food is second only to sex. Except for salami and eggs. Now that's better than sex, but only if the salami is thickly sliced.
Alan King
My son says I never tell stories about anyone who's living.
Alan King
If you want to read about love and marriage, you've got to buy two separate books.
Alan King
I always plan dinner first thing in the morning. That's the only way I can get through the day, having a specific meal to look forward to at night.
Alan King
If you keep yourself alive and current, funny is funny.
Alan King
I think one of the big things about comedy is the ability for the audience to identify.
Alan King
I was a high school throw-out.
Alan King
My father helped me leave. He said, 'It's all out there, it's not here.'
Alan King
I just never saw my mother in any other room but the kitchen. There were always pots going.
Alan King
Eating takes a special talent. Some people are much better at it than others. In that way, it is like sex, and as with sex, it's more fun with someone who really likes it. I can't imagine having a lasting friendship with anyone who is not interested in food.
Alan King
Comedy is a reflection. We create nothing. We set no styles, no standards. We're reflections. It's a distorted mirror in the fun house. We watch society. As society behaves, then we have the ability to make fun of it.
Alan King
It's not easy being a father, but I've been allowed a comeback.
Alan King
When I get up in the morning, I have to decide what I'm going to have for dinner or I can't get through the day.
Alan King
I won't eat in a place that has suits of armor.
Alan King
There's a charm, there's a rhythm, there's a soul to Jewish humor. When I first saw Richard Pryor perform, I told him, 'You're doing a Jewish act.'
Alan King
That's the great thing about New Year's, you get to be a year older. For me, that wasn't such a joke, because my birthday was always around this time. When I was a kid, my father used to tell me that everybody was celebrating my birthday. That's what the trees are all about.
Alan King
I don't mind being 65, but nobody is gonna tell me to come in at 5:30 to have the early bird special.
Alan King
The other day my house caught fire. My lawyer said, Shouldn't be a problem. What kind of coverage do you have? I said, Fire and theft. The lawyer frowned. Uh oh. Wrong kind. Should be fire OR theft.
Alan King
You do live longer with bran, but you spend the last fifteen years on the toilet.
Alan King