Quote

As a parent, I'd - I'd be a better father.

Alan King

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Alan King
Age: 76 †
Born: 1927
Born: December 26
Died: 2004
Died: May 9
Actor
Film Actor
Film Producer
Stage Actor
Writer
Brooklyn
New York
Parent
Father
Better

More quotes by Alan King

Image
We get the worrywart, the hypochondriac, the money-grubbing miser, the intractable negotiator... Some would say certain of these refer to the stereotypical, or 'stage' Jew. But objectively speaking, the only crime in humor is an unfunny joke.
Alan King
Image
I just never saw my mother in any other room but the kitchen. There were always pots going.
Alan King
Image
I'm only... I'm only unhappy when the reviews are bad, but give me a good review and I'm a... I'm just screaming all over the place with joy.
Alan King
Image
I think one of the big things about comedy is the ability for the audience to identify.
Alan King
Image
Everything my mother made had to cook for 80 hours, and when she made matzoh balls she didn't know fluffy. Everything sank.
Alan King
Image
There's a charm, there's a rhythm, there's a soul to Jewish humor. When I first saw Richard Pryor perform, I told him, 'You're doing a Jewish act.'
Alan King
Image
And humor has always been a weapon. You want to get even on somebody? You want to attack somebody? Make fun of them.
Alan King
Image
If you stop and think about it, nearly all great humor is at the expense of someone or something.
Alan King
Image
When I was in the hospital they gave me apple juice every morning, even after I told them I didn't like it. I had to get even. One morning, I poured the apple juice into the specimen tube. The nurse held it up and said, 'It's a little cloudy.' I took the tube from her and said, 'Let me run it through again,' and drank it. The nurse fainted.
Alan King
Image
Comedy is an amazing calling. Once you get that first laugh, it's hard to turn away. Then, of course, you're hooked and you have to learn how to survive in the business.
Alan King
Image
My father helped me leave. He said, 'It's all out there, it's not here.'
Alan King
Image
Let's face it: It's difficult enough to be funny without worrying about what is going to offend whom.
Alan King
Image
I don't mind being 65, but nobody is gonna tell me to come in at 5:30 to have the early bird special.
Alan King
Image
As life's pleasures go, food is second only to sex. Except for salami and eggs. Now that's better than sex, but only if the salami is thickly sliced.
Alan King
Image
I always plan dinner first thing in the morning. That's the only way I can get through the day, having a specific meal to look forward to at night.
Alan King
Image
My father was a dreamer - my hero. He was a smart, tough guy from Poland, a cutter of lady's handbags, an old socialist-unionist who always considered himself a failure. His big line was: 'Don't end up like me.'
Alan King
Image
I won't eat in a place that has suits of armor.
Alan King
Image
I had a sympathetic role in 'thirtysomething,' and in two weeks I'm going to do the role again. But in the movies, I just love the heavies. It's much more fun. Villains are a ball. People have been laughing at me for 50 years, so I love to sit in the back of the theater and listen to them hate me.
Alan King
Image
There's nobody to believe in anymore, nobody to trust.
Alan King
Image
I made it, Ma - Carnegie Hall. And I didn't have to practice.
Alan King