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And humor has always been a weapon. You want to get even on somebody? You want to attack somebody? Make fun of them.

Alan King

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Alan King
Age: 76 †
Born: 1927
Born: December 26
Died: 2004
Died: May 9
Actor
Film Actor
Film Producer
Stage Actor
Writer
Brooklyn
New York
Even
Make
Always
Weapon
Attack
Weapons
Humor
Fun
Somebody

More quotes by Alan King

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Milton took vaudeville, which, if you look up 'vaudeville' in the dictionary, right alongside of it, it says 'Milton Berle' - and he made it just a tremendous party.
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The other day my house caught fire. My lawyer said, Shouldn't be a problem. What kind of coverage do you have? I said, Fire and theft. The lawyer frowned. Uh oh. Wrong kind. Should be fire OR theft.
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I won't eat in a place that has suits of armor.
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I always plan dinner first thing in the morning. That's the only way I can get through the day, having a specific meal to look forward to at night.
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A summary of every Jewish holiday: They tried to kill us, we won, let's eat!
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When I read Dickens for the first time, I thought he was Jewish, because he wrote about oppression and bigotry, all the things that my father talked about.
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I had a sympathetic role in 'thirtysomething,' and in two weeks I'm going to do the role again. But in the movies, I just love the heavies. It's much more fun. Villains are a ball. People have been laughing at me for 50 years, so I love to sit in the back of the theater and listen to them hate me.
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If you keep yourself alive and current, funny is funny.
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It's not easy being a father, but I've been allowed a comeback.
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My brother is the youngest member of the College of Physicians and Surgeons. And I wouldn't let him cut my nails.
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I don't mind being 65, but nobody is gonna tell me to come in at 5:30 to have the early bird special.
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Larry David finds a way to make jokes about the Holocaust. It would never have occurred to me. And it was funny.
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Ed Sullivan brought me to TV first in 1952, then Garry Moore's program gave me a lot of confidence and freedom.
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Let's face it: It's difficult enough to be funny without worrying about what is going to offend whom.
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My mother's sister was killed in a trolley car accident, so I was raised as one of eight with my sister and six male cousins.
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I just never saw my mother in any other room but the kitchen. There were always pots going.
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Banks have a new image. Now you have 'a friend,' your friendly banker. If the banks are so friendly, how come they chain down the pens?
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Eating takes a special talent. Some people are much better at it than others. In that way, it is like sex, and as with sex, it's more fun with someone who really likes it. I can't imagine having a lasting friendship with anyone who is not interested in food.
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When I was in the hospital they gave me apple juice every morning, even after I told them I didn't like it. I had to get even. One morning, I poured the apple juice into the specimen tube. The nurse held it up and said, 'It's a little cloudy.' I took the tube from her and said, 'Let me run it through again,' and drank it. The nurse fainted.
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I'm only... I'm only unhappy when the reviews are bad, but give me a good review and I'm a... I'm just screaming all over the place with joy.
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