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And humor has always been a weapon. You want to get even on somebody? You want to attack somebody? Make fun of them.

Alan King

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Alan King
Age: 76 †
Born: 1927
Born: December 26
Died: 2004
Died: May 9
Actor
Film Actor
Film Producer
Stage Actor
Writer
Brooklyn
New York
Make
Always
Weapon
Attack
Weapons
Humor
Fun
Somebody
Even

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There's a charm, there's a rhythm, there's a soul to Jewish humor. When I first saw Richard Pryor perform, I told him, 'You're doing a Jewish act.'
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I had a sympathetic role in 'thirtysomething,' and in two weeks I'm going to do the role again. But in the movies, I just love the heavies. It's much more fun. Villains are a ball. People have been laughing at me for 50 years, so I love to sit in the back of the theater and listen to them hate me.
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Modesty is not one of my virtues.
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Ed Sullivan brought me to TV first in 1952, then Garry Moore's program gave me a lot of confidence and freedom.
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The world is full of little dictators trying to run your life.
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Banks have a new image. Now you have 'a friend,' your friendly banker. If the banks are so friendly, how come they chain down the pens?
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That's the great thing about New Year's, you get to be a year older. For me, that wasn't such a joke, because my birthday was always around this time. When I was a kid, my father used to tell me that everybody was celebrating my birthday. That's what the trees are all about.
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Eating takes a special talent. Some people are much better at it than others. In that way, it is like sex, and as with sex, it's more fun with someone who really likes it. I can't imagine having a lasting friendship with anyone who is not interested in food.
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You know you are getting old when people tell you how good you look.
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My mother kept the house clean and we ate good. I didn't know we were poor until I started giving interviews.
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My brother is the youngest member of the College of Physicians and Surgeons. And I wouldn't let him cut my nails.
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There's nobody to believe in anymore, nobody to trust.
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It's not easy being a father, but I've been allowed a comeback.
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My favorite way to spend Saturday is in and out of bed, watching sports on TV and eating.
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I think one of the big things about comedy is the ability for the audience to identify.
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Let's face it: It's difficult enough to be funny without worrying about what is going to offend whom.
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A summary of every Jewish holiday: They tried to kill us, we won, let's eat!
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If you want to read about love and marriage, you've got to buy two separate books.
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One thing I've never said in my whole life is, 'Let's have dinner at a Japanese restaurant.'
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The ability to absorb a book and make someone else's words and story your own was exactly was I was doing on stage.
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