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A summary of every Jewish holiday: They tried to kill us, we won, let's eat!

Alan King

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Alan King
Age: 76 †
Born: 1927
Born: December 26
Died: 2004
Died: May 9
Actor
Film Actor
Film Producer
Stage Actor
Writer
Brooklyn
New York
Summary
Holiday
Jewish
Tried
Kill
Every

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My mother's sister was killed in a trolley car accident, so I was raised as one of eight with my sister and six male cousins.
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I think one of the big things about comedy is the ability for the audience to identify.
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I'm only... I'm only unhappy when the reviews are bad, but give me a good review and I'm a... I'm just screaming all over the place with joy.
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You do live longer with bran, but you spend the last fifteen years on the toilet.
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The world is full of little dictators trying to run your life.
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As life's pleasures go, food is second only to sex. Except for salami and eggs. Now that's better than sex, but only if the salami is thickly sliced.
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Milton took vaudeville, which, if you look up 'vaudeville' in the dictionary, right alongside of it, it says 'Milton Berle' - and he made it just a tremendous party.
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Let's face it: It's difficult enough to be funny without worrying about what is going to offend whom.
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My father helped me leave. He said, 'It's all out there, it's not here.'
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My father was a dreamer - my hero. He was a smart, tough guy from Poland, a cutter of lady's handbags, an old socialist-unionist who always considered himself a failure. His big line was: 'Don't end up like me.'
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Ed Sullivan brought me to TV first in 1952, then Garry Moore's program gave me a lot of confidence and freedom.
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I made it, Ma - Carnegie Hall. And I didn't have to practice.
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Comedy is a reflection. We create nothing. We set no styles, no standards. We're reflections. It's a distorted mirror in the fun house. We watch society. As society behaves, then we have the ability to make fun of it.
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The other day my house caught fire. My lawyer said, Shouldn't be a problem. What kind of coverage do you have? I said, Fire and theft. The lawyer frowned. Uh oh. Wrong kind. Should be fire OR theft.
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When I read Dickens for the first time, I thought he was Jewish, because he wrote about oppression and bigotry, all the things that my father talked about.
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I just never saw my mother in any other room but the kitchen. There were always pots going.
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We get the worrywart, the hypochondriac, the money-grubbing miser, the intractable negotiator... Some would say certain of these refer to the stereotypical, or 'stage' Jew. But objectively speaking, the only crime in humor is an unfunny joke.
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If you stop and think about it, nearly all great humor is at the expense of someone or something.
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And humor has always been a weapon. You want to get even on somebody? You want to attack somebody? Make fun of them.
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