Quote

A summary of every Jewish holiday: They tried to kill us, we won, let's eat!

Alan King

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Alan King
Age: 76 †
Born: 1927
Born: December 26
Died: 2004
Died: May 9
Actor
Film Actor
Film Producer
Stage Actor
Writer
Brooklyn
New York
Summary
Holiday
Jewish
Tried
Kill
Every

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I made it, Ma - Carnegie Hall. And I didn't have to practice.
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My father was a dreamer - my hero. He was a smart, tough guy from Poland, a cutter of lady's handbags, an old socialist-unionist who always considered himself a failure. His big line was: 'Don't end up like me.'
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There's nobody to believe in anymore, nobody to trust.
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My father helped me leave. He said, 'It's all out there, it's not here.'
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Comedy is a reflection. We create nothing. We set no styles, no standards. We're reflections. It's a distorted mirror in the fun house. We watch society. As society behaves, then we have the ability to make fun of it.
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The world is full of little dictators trying to run your life.
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When I read Dickens for the first time, I thought he was Jewish, because he wrote about oppression and bigotry, all the things that my father talked about.
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I always plan dinner first thing in the morning. That's the only way I can get through the day, having a specific meal to look forward to at night.
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The other day my house caught fire. My lawyer said, Shouldn't be a problem. What kind of coverage do you have? I said, Fire and theft. The lawyer frowned. Uh oh. Wrong kind. Should be fire OR theft.
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If you keep yourself alive and current, funny is funny.
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And humor has always been a weapon. You want to get even on somebody? You want to attack somebody? Make fun of them.
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When I was in the hospital they gave me apple juice every morning, even after I told them I didn't like it. I had to get even. One morning, I poured the apple juice into the specimen tube. The nurse held it up and said, 'It's a little cloudy.' I took the tube from her and said, 'Let me run it through again,' and drank it. The nurse fainted.
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Larry David finds a way to make jokes about the Holocaust. It would never have occurred to me. And it was funny.
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My favorite way to spend Saturday is in and out of bed, watching sports on TV and eating.
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My mother kept the house clean and we ate good. I didn't know we were poor until I started giving interviews.
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Eating takes a special talent. Some people are much better at it than others. In that way, it is like sex, and as with sex, it's more fun with someone who really likes it. I can't imagine having a lasting friendship with anyone who is not interested in food.
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That's the great thing about New Year's, you get to be a year older. For me, that wasn't such a joke, because my birthday was always around this time. When I was a kid, my father used to tell me that everybody was celebrating my birthday. That's what the trees are all about.
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I just never saw my mother in any other room but the kitchen. There were always pots going.
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You know you are getting old when people tell you how good you look.
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The ability to absorb a book and make someone else's words and story your own was exactly was I was doing on stage.
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