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If you want to read about love and marriage, you've got to buy two separate books.

Alan King

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Alan King
Age: 76 †
Born: 1927
Born: December 26
Died: 2004
Died: May 9
Actor
Film Actor
Film Producer
Stage Actor
Writer
Brooklyn
New York
Love
Cynical
Separate
Marriage
Books
Read
Inspirational
Two
Book

More quotes by Alan King

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My mother's sister was killed in a trolley car accident, so I was raised as one of eight with my sister and six male cousins.
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Modesty is not one of my virtues.
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Comedy is an amazing calling. Once you get that first laugh, it's hard to turn away. Then, of course, you're hooked and you have to learn how to survive in the business.
Alan King
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I don't mind being 65, but nobody is gonna tell me to come in at 5:30 to have the early bird special.
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I just never saw my mother in any other room but the kitchen. There were always pots going.
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The ability to absorb a book and make someone else's words and story your own was exactly was I was doing on stage.
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Larry David finds a way to make jokes about the Holocaust. It would never have occurred to me. And it was funny.
Alan King
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Let's face it: It's difficult enough to be funny without worrying about what is going to offend whom.
Alan King
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Ed Sullivan brought me to TV first in 1952, then Garry Moore's program gave me a lot of confidence and freedom.
Alan King
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When I was in the hospital they gave me apple juice every morning, even after I told them I didn't like it. I had to get even. One morning, I poured the apple juice into the specimen tube. The nurse held it up and said, 'It's a little cloudy.' I took the tube from her and said, 'Let me run it through again,' and drank it. The nurse fainted.
Alan King
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I made it, Ma - Carnegie Hall. And I didn't have to practice.
Alan King
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My mother kept the house clean and we ate good. I didn't know we were poor until I started giving interviews.
Alan King
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You know you are getting old when people tell you how good you look.
Alan King
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Comedy is a reflection. We create nothing. We set no styles, no standards. We're reflections. It's a distorted mirror in the fun house. We watch society. As society behaves, then we have the ability to make fun of it.
Alan King
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My father was a dreamer - my hero. He was a smart, tough guy from Poland, a cutter of lady's handbags, an old socialist-unionist who always considered himself a failure. His big line was: 'Don't end up like me.'
Alan King
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My favorite way to spend Saturday is in and out of bed, watching sports on TV and eating.
Alan King
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I'm only... I'm only unhappy when the reviews are bad, but give me a good review and I'm a... I'm just screaming all over the place with joy.
Alan King
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Marriage is nature's way of keeping us from fighting with strangers.
Alan King
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One thing I've never said in my whole life is, 'Let's have dinner at a Japanese restaurant.'
Alan King
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The other day my house caught fire. My lawyer said, Shouldn't be a problem. What kind of coverage do you have? I said, Fire and theft. The lawyer frowned. Uh oh. Wrong kind. Should be fire OR theft.
Alan King