Quote

Banks have a new image. Now you have 'a friend,' your friendly banker. If the banks are so friendly, how come they chain down the pens?

Alan King

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Alan King
Age: 76 †
Born: 1927
Born: December 26
Died: 2004
Died: May 9
Actor
Film Actor
Film Producer
Stage Actor
Writer
Brooklyn
New York
Friendly
Chains
Banker
Image
Bankers
Marriage
Banks
Friend
Chain
Funny
Pens
Come
Ties
Witty

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My brother is the youngest member of the College of Physicians and Surgeons. And I wouldn't let him cut my nails.
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I made it, Ma - Carnegie Hall. And I didn't have to practice.
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Milton took vaudeville, which, if you look up 'vaudeville' in the dictionary, right alongside of it, it says 'Milton Berle' - and he made it just a tremendous party.
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My son says I never tell stories about anyone who's living.
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If you want to read about love and marriage, you've got to buy two separate books.
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We get the worrywart, the hypochondriac, the money-grubbing miser, the intractable negotiator... Some would say certain of these refer to the stereotypical, or 'stage' Jew. But objectively speaking, the only crime in humor is an unfunny joke.
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Comedy is an amazing calling. Once you get that first laugh, it's hard to turn away. Then, of course, you're hooked and you have to learn how to survive in the business.
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Modesty is not one of my virtues.
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You know you are getting old when people tell you how good you look.
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I'm only... I'm only unhappy when the reviews are bad, but give me a good review and I'm a... I'm just screaming all over the place with joy.
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I don't mind being 65, but nobody is gonna tell me to come in at 5:30 to have the early bird special.
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Let's face it: It's difficult enough to be funny without worrying about what is going to offend whom.
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My mother's sister was killed in a trolley car accident, so I was raised as one of eight with my sister and six male cousins.
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That's the great thing about New Year's, you get to be a year older. For me, that wasn't such a joke, because my birthday was always around this time. When I was a kid, my father used to tell me that everybody was celebrating my birthday. That's what the trees are all about.
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Larry David finds a way to make jokes about the Holocaust. It would never have occurred to me. And it was funny.
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I just never saw my mother in any other room but the kitchen. There were always pots going.
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A summary of every Jewish holiday: They tried to kill us, we won, let's eat!
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As life's pleasures go, food is second only to sex. Except for salami and eggs. Now that's better than sex, but only if the salami is thickly sliced.
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It's not easy being a father, but I've been allowed a comeback.
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Marriage is nature's way of keeping us from fighting with strangers.
Alan King