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Banks have a new image. Now you have 'a friend,' your friendly banker. If the banks are so friendly, how come they chain down the pens?

Alan King

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Alan King
Age: 76 †
Born: 1927
Born: December 26
Died: 2004
Died: May 9
Actor
Film Actor
Film Producer
Stage Actor
Writer
Brooklyn
New York
Witty
Friendly
Chains
Banker
Image
Bankers
Marriage
Banks
Friend
Chain
Funny
Pens
Come
Ties

More quotes by Alan King

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We get the worrywart, the hypochondriac, the money-grubbing miser, the intractable negotiator... Some would say certain of these refer to the stereotypical, or 'stage' Jew. But objectively speaking, the only crime in humor is an unfunny joke.
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Everything my mother made had to cook for 80 hours, and when she made matzoh balls she didn't know fluffy. Everything sank.
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Ed Sullivan brought me to TV first in 1952, then Garry Moore's program gave me a lot of confidence and freedom.
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I don't mind being 65, but nobody is gonna tell me to come in at 5:30 to have the early bird special.
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As a parent, I'd - I'd be a better father.
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You know you are getting old when people tell you how good you look.
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It's not easy being a father, but I've been allowed a comeback.
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My mother kept the house clean and we ate good. I didn't know we were poor until I started giving interviews.
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Eating takes a special talent. Some people are much better at it than others. In that way, it is like sex, and as with sex, it's more fun with someone who really likes it. I can't imagine having a lasting friendship with anyone who is not interested in food.
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The world is full of little dictators trying to run your life.
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Marriage is nature's way of keeping us from fighting with strangers.
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My mother's sister was killed in a trolley car accident, so I was raised as one of eight with my sister and six male cousins.
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My brother is the youngest member of the College of Physicians and Surgeons. And I wouldn't let him cut my nails.
Alan King
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I just never saw my mother in any other room but the kitchen. There were always pots going.
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Comedy is a reflection. We create nothing. We set no styles, no standards. We're reflections. It's a distorted mirror in the fun house. We watch society. As society behaves, then we have the ability to make fun of it.
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As life's pleasures go, food is second only to sex. Except for salami and eggs. Now that's better than sex, but only if the salami is thickly sliced.
Alan King
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One thing I've never said in my whole life is, 'Let's have dinner at a Japanese restaurant.'
Alan King
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Milton took vaudeville, which, if you look up 'vaudeville' in the dictionary, right alongside of it, it says 'Milton Berle' - and he made it just a tremendous party.
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My father helped me leave. He said, 'It's all out there, it's not here.'
Alan King
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There's nobody to believe in anymore, nobody to trust.
Alan King