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Banks have a new image. Now you have 'a friend,' your friendly banker. If the banks are so friendly, how come they chain down the pens?

Alan King

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Alan King
Age: 76 †
Born: 1927
Born: December 26
Died: 2004
Died: May 9
Actor
Film Actor
Film Producer
Stage Actor
Writer
Brooklyn
New York
Chains
Banker
Image
Bankers
Marriage
Banks
Friend
Chain
Funny
Pens
Come
Ties
Witty
Friendly

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I don't mind being 65, but nobody is gonna tell me to come in at 5:30 to have the early bird special.
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There's nobody to believe in anymore, nobody to trust.
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One thing I've never said in my whole life is, 'Let's have dinner at a Japanese restaurant.'
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Eating takes a special talent. Some people are much better at it than others. In that way, it is like sex, and as with sex, it's more fun with someone who really likes it. I can't imagine having a lasting friendship with anyone who is not interested in food.
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Modesty is not one of my virtues.
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Marriage is nature's way of keeping us from fighting with strangers.
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Milton took vaudeville, which, if you look up 'vaudeville' in the dictionary, right alongside of it, it says 'Milton Berle' - and he made it just a tremendous party.
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The ability to absorb a book and make someone else's words and story your own was exactly was I was doing on stage.
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And humor has always been a weapon. You want to get even on somebody? You want to attack somebody? Make fun of them.
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I won't eat in a place that has suits of armor.
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I think one of the big things about comedy is the ability for the audience to identify.
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Ed Sullivan brought me to TV first in 1952, then Garry Moore's program gave me a lot of confidence and freedom.
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My father was a dreamer - my hero. He was a smart, tough guy from Poland, a cutter of lady's handbags, an old socialist-unionist who always considered himself a failure. His big line was: 'Don't end up like me.'
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When I was in the hospital they gave me apple juice every morning, even after I told them I didn't like it. I had to get even. One morning, I poured the apple juice into the specimen tube. The nurse held it up and said, 'It's a little cloudy.' I took the tube from her and said, 'Let me run it through again,' and drank it. The nurse fainted.
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I'm only... I'm only unhappy when the reviews are bad, but give me a good review and I'm a... I'm just screaming all over the place with joy.
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We get the worrywart, the hypochondriac, the money-grubbing miser, the intractable negotiator... Some would say certain of these refer to the stereotypical, or 'stage' Jew. But objectively speaking, the only crime in humor is an unfunny joke.
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My son says I never tell stories about anyone who's living.
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When I read Dickens for the first time, I thought he was Jewish, because he wrote about oppression and bigotry, all the things that my father talked about.
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I just never saw my mother in any other room but the kitchen. There were always pots going.
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Larry David finds a way to make jokes about the Holocaust. It would never have occurred to me. And it was funny.
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