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Marriage is nature's way of keeping us from fighting with strangers.
Alan King
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Alan King
Age: 76 †
Born: 1927
Born: December 26
Died: 2004
Died: May 9
Actor
Film Actor
Film Producer
Stage Actor
Writer
Brooklyn
New York
Marriage
Fighting
Nature
Way
Strangers
Keeping
Stranger
More quotes by Alan King
We get the worrywart, the hypochondriac, the money-grubbing miser, the intractable negotiator... Some would say certain of these refer to the stereotypical, or 'stage' Jew. But objectively speaking, the only crime in humor is an unfunny joke.
Alan King
The ability to absorb a book and make someone else's words and story your own was exactly was I was doing on stage.
Alan King
Modesty is not one of my virtues.
Alan King
If you want to read about love and marriage, you've got to buy two separate books.
Alan King
There's a charm, there's a rhythm, there's a soul to Jewish humor. When I first saw Richard Pryor perform, I told him, 'You're doing a Jewish act.'
Alan King
I always plan dinner first thing in the morning. That's the only way I can get through the day, having a specific meal to look forward to at night.
Alan King
My father was a dreamer - my hero. He was a smart, tough guy from Poland, a cutter of lady's handbags, an old socialist-unionist who always considered himself a failure. His big line was: 'Don't end up like me.'
Alan King
My son says I never tell stories about anyone who's living.
Alan King
Larry David finds a way to make jokes about the Holocaust. It would never have occurred to me. And it was funny.
Alan King
I'm only... I'm only unhappy when the reviews are bad, but give me a good review and I'm a... I'm just screaming all over the place with joy.
Alan King
If you stop and think about it, nearly all great humor is at the expense of someone or something.
Alan King
As life's pleasures go, food is second only to sex. Except for salami and eggs. Now that's better than sex, but only if the salami is thickly sliced.
Alan King
I won't eat in a place that has suits of armor.
Alan King
I don't mind being 65, but nobody is gonna tell me to come in at 5:30 to have the early bird special.
Alan King
I just never saw my mother in any other room but the kitchen. There were always pots going.
Alan King
My mother kept the house clean and we ate good. I didn't know we were poor until I started giving interviews.
Alan King
My brother is the youngest member of the College of Physicians and Surgeons. And I wouldn't let him cut my nails.
Alan King
If you keep yourself alive and current, funny is funny.
Alan King
My favorite way to spend Saturday is in and out of bed, watching sports on TV and eating.
Alan King
It's not easy being a father, but I've been allowed a comeback.
Alan King