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Marriage is nature's way of keeping us from fighting with strangers.

Alan King

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Alan King
Age: 76 †
Born: 1927
Born: December 26
Died: 2004
Died: May 9
Actor
Film Actor
Film Producer
Stage Actor
Writer
Brooklyn
New York
Marriage
Fighting
Nature
Way
Strangers
Keeping
Stranger

More quotes by Alan King

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We get the worrywart, the hypochondriac, the money-grubbing miser, the intractable negotiator... Some would say certain of these refer to the stereotypical, or 'stage' Jew. But objectively speaking, the only crime in humor is an unfunny joke.
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The ability to absorb a book and make someone else's words and story your own was exactly was I was doing on stage.
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Modesty is not one of my virtues.
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If you want to read about love and marriage, you've got to buy two separate books.
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There's a charm, there's a rhythm, there's a soul to Jewish humor. When I first saw Richard Pryor perform, I told him, 'You're doing a Jewish act.'
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I always plan dinner first thing in the morning. That's the only way I can get through the day, having a specific meal to look forward to at night.
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My father was a dreamer - my hero. He was a smart, tough guy from Poland, a cutter of lady's handbags, an old socialist-unionist who always considered himself a failure. His big line was: 'Don't end up like me.'
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My son says I never tell stories about anyone who's living.
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Larry David finds a way to make jokes about the Holocaust. It would never have occurred to me. And it was funny.
Alan King
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I'm only... I'm only unhappy when the reviews are bad, but give me a good review and I'm a... I'm just screaming all over the place with joy.
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If you stop and think about it, nearly all great humor is at the expense of someone or something.
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As life's pleasures go, food is second only to sex. Except for salami and eggs. Now that's better than sex, but only if the salami is thickly sliced.
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I won't eat in a place that has suits of armor.
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I don't mind being 65, but nobody is gonna tell me to come in at 5:30 to have the early bird special.
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I just never saw my mother in any other room but the kitchen. There were always pots going.
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My mother kept the house clean and we ate good. I didn't know we were poor until I started giving interviews.
Alan King
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My brother is the youngest member of the College of Physicians and Surgeons. And I wouldn't let him cut my nails.
Alan King
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If you keep yourself alive and current, funny is funny.
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My favorite way to spend Saturday is in and out of bed, watching sports on TV and eating.
Alan King
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It's not easy being a father, but I've been allowed a comeback.
Alan King