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Marriage is nature's way of keeping us from fighting with strangers.

Alan King

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Alan King
Age: 76 †
Born: 1927
Born: December 26
Died: 2004
Died: May 9
Actor
Film Actor
Film Producer
Stage Actor
Writer
Brooklyn
New York
Nature
Way
Strangers
Keeping
Stranger
Marriage
Fighting

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When I get up in the morning, I have to decide what I'm going to have for dinner or I can't get through the day.
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The world is full of little dictators trying to run your life.
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I made it, Ma - Carnegie Hall. And I didn't have to practice.
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My father helped me leave. He said, 'It's all out there, it's not here.'
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Ed Sullivan brought me to TV first in 1952, then Garry Moore's program gave me a lot of confidence and freedom.
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You do live longer with bran, but you spend the last fifteen years on the toilet.
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You know you are getting old when people tell you how good you look.
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As life's pleasures go, food is second only to sex. Except for salami and eggs. Now that's better than sex, but only if the salami is thickly sliced.
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My favorite way to spend Saturday is in and out of bed, watching sports on TV and eating.
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My brother is the youngest member of the College of Physicians and Surgeons. And I wouldn't let him cut my nails.
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The ability to absorb a book and make someone else's words and story your own was exactly was I was doing on stage.
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I was a high school throw-out.
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A summary of every Jewish holiday: They tried to kill us, we won, let's eat!
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I won't eat in a place that has suits of armor.
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The other day my house caught fire. My lawyer said, Shouldn't be a problem. What kind of coverage do you have? I said, Fire and theft. The lawyer frowned. Uh oh. Wrong kind. Should be fire OR theft.
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I always plan dinner first thing in the morning. That's the only way I can get through the day, having a specific meal to look forward to at night.
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That's the great thing about New Year's, you get to be a year older. For me, that wasn't such a joke, because my birthday was always around this time. When I was a kid, my father used to tell me that everybody was celebrating my birthday. That's what the trees are all about.
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There's nobody to believe in anymore, nobody to trust.
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Comedy is a reflection. We create nothing. We set no styles, no standards. We're reflections. It's a distorted mirror in the fun house. We watch society. As society behaves, then we have the ability to make fun of it.
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My father was a dreamer - my hero. He was a smart, tough guy from Poland, a cutter of lady's handbags, an old socialist-unionist who always considered himself a failure. His big line was: 'Don't end up like me.'
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