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When a monkey nibbles on a weenis, it's funny in any language.

Alan Garner

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Alan Garner
Age: 90
Born: 1934
Born: October 17
Author
Novelist
Writer
Congleton
Cheshire
Monkey
Monkeys
Funny
Language

More quotes by Alan Garner

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Ive learned never to try and force words to come.
Alan Garner
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I'll buy metaphor, but simile's a cop-out used by scaredycats who won't commit to anything. Simile's for cowards.
Alan Garner
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I loathe crowds. I especially dont like cities. A city involves biomass. And biomass gets to me.
Alan Garner
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Possessive parents rarely live long enough to see the fruits of their selfishness.
Alan Garner
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... I had never given much credence to the phenomenon of writer's block. I was more inclined to think of it as writer's impatience, and to follow Arthur Koestler's dictum: Soak and wait.
Alan Garner
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Hitting the gym to release stress is not nearly as effective as hitting the people that cause the stress to begin with.
Alan Garner
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My background is deep and set in deep time, and in a narrow space, oral traditions going back a long, long time, which I inherited by osmosis.
Alan Garner
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I learnt that I must never finish a book with nothing else to do.
Alan Garner
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If you are going to write, nothing will stop you, and if you are not going to write, nothing will make you.
Alan Garner
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Everything I have ever written has been in the same chair, in the same room.
Alan Garner
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My attitude is that if anybody of any age wants to read a book, let them, but I do think that no child would want to read Boneland.
Alan Garner
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When you start, the world of publishing seems like a great cathedral citadel of talent, resisting attempts to let you inside. It isn't like that at all. It may be more difficult now, and take longer than when I started to write, but there's a great, empty warehouse out there looking for simple talent.
Alan Garner
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It's where I keep all my things. Get a lot of compliments on this. Plus it's not a purse, it's called a satchel. Indiana Jones wears one.
Alan Garner
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My great-grandfather was a self-taught man, and his library was extraordinary. I read the lot.
Alan Garner
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I wish Monkeys could Skype. Maybe one day.
Alan Garner
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I love research so much that I do an enormous amount it helps put off the moment of starting to write the story.
Alan Garner
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The job of a storyteller is to speak the truth. But what we feel most deeply can’t be spoken in words alone. At this level, only images connect. And here, story becomes symbol symbol is myth. And myth is truth.
Alan Garner
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Im not supposed to be within two hundred feet of a school or a Chuck E. Cheese.
Alan Garner
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She wants to be flowers, but you make her owls. You must not complain, then, if she goes hunting.
Alan Garner