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Jacob is a German Shepherd. (I have never understood why they aren't called German Sheepdogs. What do the Germans call shepherds?)

Alan Coren

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Alan Coren
Age: 69 †
Born: 1938
Born: June 27
Died: 2007
Died: October 18
Editor
Journalist
Writer
Dog
Aren
Understood
Called
Shepherd
Call
Jacob
Never
Shepherds
Germans
German

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Ethnically, the Germans are Teutonic... being made up of Vandals, Gepidae, and Goths, all of whom emigrated - south from Sweden in about 500 BC why they emigrated is not exactly clear, but many scholars believe it was because they saw the way Sweden was going, i.e. neutral.
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To have a grievance is to have a purpose in life.
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The word souvenir has, of course, slightly extended itself in meaning until it now denotes almost anything either breakable or useless but even today, ninety per cent of the items covered by the word are forgettable objects in which cigarettes can be left to go stale.
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Democracy consists of choosing your dictators, after they've told you what you think it is you want to hear.
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There are many mysteries in old age but the greatest, surely, is this: in those adverts for walk-in bathtubs, why doesn't all the water gush out when you get in?
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The role of humour is to make people fall down and writhe on the Axminster, and that is the top and bottom of it.
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A humorist tells himself every morning, I hope it's going to be a rough day. When things are going well, it's much harder to make the right jokes.
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Disneyworld... is a historical reconstruction as sanitised as the Kremlin's, and a future vision as uncognisant of contemporary pointers as Peter Pan's. It is a magic carpet under which everything has been swept.
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Enjoy your life today because yesterday had gone and tomorrow may never come
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Strictly speaking, the land does not exist it is merely dehydrated sea.
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