Quote

Since both its national products, snow and chocolate, melt, the cuckoo clock was invented solely in order to give tourists something solid to remember it by.

Alan Coren

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Alan Coren
Age: 69 †
Born: 1938
Born: June 27
Died: 2007
Died: October 18
Editor
Journalist
Writer
Giving
National
Tourism
Something
Products
Tourists
Humor
Solely
Since
Solid
Funny
Invented
Cuckoo
Order
Chocolate
Cuckoos
Remember
Clock
Give
Snow
Melt

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Malta is the only country in the world where the local delicacy is the bread.
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Disneyworld... is a historical reconstruction as sanitised as the Kremlin's, and a future vision as uncognisant of contemporary pointers as Peter Pan's. It is a magic carpet under which everything has been swept.
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Strictly speaking, the land does not exist it is merely dehydrated sea.
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There are many mysteries in old age but the greatest, surely, is this: in those adverts for walk-in bathtubs, why doesn't all the water gush out when you get in?
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A humorist tells himself every morning, I hope it's going to be a rough day. When things are going well, it's much harder to make the right jokes.
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Being a personality is not the same thing as having a personality.
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Having lost the last war, they are currently enjoying a Wirtschaftswunder, which can be briefly translated as The best way to own a Mercedes is to build one.
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All I know of birds to this date is that sparrows are the ones that are not pigeons.
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Ethnically, the Germans are Teutonic... being made up of Vandals, Gepidae, and Goths, all of whom emigrated - south from Sweden in about 500 BC why they emigrated is not exactly clear, but many scholars believe it was because they saw the way Sweden was going, i.e. neutral.
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The Act of God designation on all insurance policies which means, roughly, that you cannot be insured for the accidents that are most likely to happen to you.
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The role of humour is to make people fall down and writhe on the Axminster, and that is the top and bottom of it.
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