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Since both its national products, snow and chocolate, melt, the cuckoo clock was invented solely in order to give tourists something solid to remember it by.

Alan Coren

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Alan Coren
Age: 69 †
Born: 1938
Born: June 27
Died: 2007
Died: October 18
Editor
Journalist
Writer
Something
Products
Tourists
Humor
Solely
Since
Solid
Funny
Invented
Order
Chocolate
Cuckoo
Remember
Clock
Cuckoos
Give
Snow
Melt
Giving
National
Tourism

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Having lost the last war, they are currently enjoying a Wirtschaftswunder, which can be briefly translated as The best way to own a Mercedes is to build one.
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The word souvenir has, of course, slightly extended itself in meaning until it now denotes almost anything either breakable or useless but even today, ninety per cent of the items covered by the word are forgettable objects in which cigarettes can be left to go stale.
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Disneyworld... is a historical reconstruction as sanitised as the Kremlin's, and a future vision as uncognisant of contemporary pointers as Peter Pan's. It is a magic carpet under which everything has been swept.
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Enjoy your life today because yesterday had gone and tomorrow may never come
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There are many mysteries in old age but the greatest, surely, is this: in those adverts for walk-in bathtubs, why doesn't all the water gush out when you get in?
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Ethnically, the Germans are Teutonic... being made up of Vandals, Gepidae, and Goths, all of whom emigrated - south from Sweden in about 500 BC why they emigrated is not exactly clear, but many scholars believe it was because they saw the way Sweden was going, i.e. neutral.
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A humorist tells himself every morning, I hope it's going to be a rough day. When things are going well, it's much harder to make the right jokes.
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10.30 Newsnight: What Are The Chances Of World War Three Breaking Out After You Have Gone To Bed?
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Being a personality is not the same thing as having a personality.
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All I know of birds to this date is that sparrows are the ones that are not pigeons.
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Strictly speaking, the land does not exist it is merely dehydrated sea.
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The role of humour is to make people fall down and writhe on the Axminster, and that is the top and bottom of it.
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To have a grievance is to have a purpose in life.
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