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Never read the Bible as if it means something. Or at any rate don't try and mean it. Nor prayers. The liturgy is best treated and read as if it's someone announcing the departure of trains.
Alan Bennett
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Alan Bennett
Age: 90
Born: 1934
Born: May 9
Actor
Comedian
Diarist
Film Director
Playwright
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Writer
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Trying
Bible
Something
Train
Liturgy
Never
Prayer
Announcing
Read
Trains
Means
Departure
Someone
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Treated
More quotes by Alan Bennett
Definition of a classic: a book everyone is assumed to have read and often thinks they have.
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I'm all in favour of free expression provided it's kept rigidly under control.
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To read is to withdraw.To make oneself unavailable. One would feel easier about it if the pursuit inself were less...selfish.
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God doesn't do notes, either. Did Jesus Christ say, Can I be excused the Crucifixion? No!
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Schweitzer in the Congo did not derive more moral credit than Larkin did for living in Hull.
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It's subjunctive history. You know, the subjunctive? The mood used when something may or may not have happened. When it is imagined.
Alan Bennett
No mention of God. They keep Him up their sleeves for as long as they can, vicars do. They know it puts people off.
Alan Bennett
Why is it always the intelligent people who are socialists?
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That's a bit like asking a man crawling across the Sahara whether he would prefer Perrier or Malvern water.
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If I am doing nothing, I like to be doing nothing to some purpose. That is what leisure means.
Alan Bennett
I think the writer's quite low down in the hierarchy really. But the fact that they took the piss out of Nicholas [Hynter] who, besides being the director, is also director of the National Theatre is, I'd have thought, slightly more risky.
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You don't put your life into your books, you find it there.
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Of course my standards are out of date! That's why they're called standards.
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Philip Larkin used to cheer himself up by looking in the mirror and saying the line from Rebecca, 'I am Mrs de Winter now!
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I'm not good at precise, coherent argument. But plays are suited to incoherent argument, put into the mouths of fallible people.
Alan Bennett
One of the hardest things for boys to learn is that a teacher is human. One of the hardest things for a teacher to learn is not to try and tell them.
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Cancer, like any other illness, is a bore.
Alan Bennett
I have never understood disliking for war. It panders to instincts already catered for within the scope of any respectable domestic establishment.
Alan Bennett
I've never forgotten that experience. But I had nobody at school that was either like Hector or Irwin. The masters had no idea what was expected of you in the scholarship exam, so you just had to busk it really.
Alan Bennett