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No mention of God. They keep Him up their sleeves for as long as they can, vicars do. They know it puts people off.

Alan Bennett

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Alan Bennett
Age: 90
Born: 1934
Born: May 9
Actor
Comedian
Diarist
Film Director
Playwright
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Writer
Long
People
Vicars
Sleeves
Mention
Puts
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More quotes by Alan Bennett

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Clichés can be quite fun. That's how they got to be clichés.
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Books are not about passing the time. They're about other lives. Other worlds.
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I saw someone peeing in Jermym Street the other day. I thought, is this the end of civilization as we know it? Or is it simply someone peeing in Jermyn Street?
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All the effort went into getting there and then I had nothing left. I thought I'd got somewhere, then I found I had to go on.
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Philip Larkin used to cheer himself up by looking in the mirror and saying the line from Rebecca, 'I am Mrs de Winter now!
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Life is rather like a tin of sardines - we're all of us looking for the key.
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Your whole life is on the other side of the glass. And there is nobody watching.
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Above literature?' said the Queen. 'Who is above literature? You might as well say one was above humanity.
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Never read the Bible as if it means something. Or at any rate don't try and mean it. Nor prayers. The liturgy is best treated and read as if it's someone announcing the departure of trains.
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Life is generally something that happens elsewhere.
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Cancer, like any other illness, is a bore.
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There are more microbes per person than the entire population of the world. Imagine that. Per person. This means that if the time scale is diminished in proportion to that of space it would be quite possible for the whole story of Greece and Rome to be played out between farts.
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Art comes out of art it begins with imitation, often in the form of parody, and it's in the process of imitating the voice of others that one comes to learn the sound of one's own.
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I write plays about things that I can't resolve in my mind. I try to root things out.
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To play Trivial Pursuit with a life like mine could be said to be a form of homeopathy.
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I'm not good at precise, coherent argument. But plays are suited to incoherent argument, put into the mouths of fallible people.
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I turned down a knighthood. It would be like having to wear a suit every day of your life.
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God doesn't do notes, either. Did Jesus Christ say, Can I be excused the Crucifixion? No!
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I dont know whether you've ever looked into a miner's eyes for any length of time, that is. Because it is the loveliest blue you've ever seen. I think perhaps that's why I live in Ibiza, because the blue of the Mediterranean, you see, reminds me of the blue of the eyes of those Doncaster miners.
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The longer I practise medicine, the more convinced I am there are only two types of cases: those that involve taking the trousers off and those that don't.
Alan Bennett