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The nearest my parents came to alcohol was at Holy Communion and they utterly overestimated its effects. However bad the weather, Dad never drove to church because Mam thought the sacrament might make him incapable on the return journey.

Alan Bennett

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Alan Bennett
Age: 90
Born: 1934
Born: May 9
Actor
Comedian
Diarist
Film Director
Playwright
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Writer
Parent
Weather
Sacrament
Came
Dad
Nearest
Church
However
Drove
Thought
Effects
Sacraments
Might
Journey
Communion
Make
Return
Utterly
Never
Parents
Incapable
Holy
Alcohol
Overestimated

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The Breed never dies. Sapper, Buchan, Dornford Yates, practitioners in that school of Snobbery withViolence that runs like a thread of good-class tweed through twentieth-century literature.
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But most men regard their life as a poem that women threaten. They may not have two spondees to rub together but they still want to pen their saga untrammelled by life-threatening activities like trailing round Sainsbury's, emptying the dishwasher or going to the nativity play.
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I dont know whether you've ever looked into a miner's eyes for any length of time, that is. Because it is the loveliest blue you've ever seen. I think perhaps that's why I live in Ibiza, because the blue of the Mediterranean, you see, reminds me of the blue of the eyes of those Doncaster miners.
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I can walk. It's just that I'm so rich I don't need to.
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Polly: Education with socialists, it's like sex, all right as long as you don't have to pay for it.
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I saw someone peeing in Jermym Street the other day. I thought, is this the end of civilization as we know it? Or is it simply someone peeing in Jermyn Street?
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Were we closer to the ground as children, or is the grass emptier now?
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God doesn't do notes, either. Did Jesus Christ say, Can I be excused the Crucifixion? No!
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So boring you fall asleep halfway through her name.
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There is no such thing as a good script, onlya good film, and I'm conscious that my scripts often read better than they play.
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There are more microbes per person than the entire population of the world. Imagine that. Per person. This means that if the time scale is diminished in proportion to that of space it would be quite possible for the whole story of Greece and Rome to be played out between farts.
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Authors, she soon decided, were probably best met within the pages of their novels, and were as much creatures of the reader's imagination as the characters in their books. Nor did they seem to think one had done them a kindness by reading their writings. Rather they had done one the kindness by writing them.
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It seems to me the mark of a civilized society that certain privileges should be taken for granted such as education, health care and the safety to walk the streets.
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If you think squash is a competitive activity, try flower arranging.
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Art comes out of art it begins with imitation, often in the form of parody, and it's in the process of imitating the voice of others that one comes to learn the sound of one's own.
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I've never seen the point of the sea, except where it meets the land. The shore has a point. The sea has none.
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Life is like a box of sardines and we are all looking for the key.
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We were put to Dickens as children but it never quite took. That unremitting humanity soon had me cheesed off.
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