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Maybe I'll make a huge color tapestry from my belly button lint.

Al Yankovic

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Al Yankovic
Age: 65
Born: 1959
Born: October 23
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Impressionist
Music Video Director
Record Producer
Satirist
Screenwriter
Downey
California
Alfred Matthew Weird Al Yankovic
Alfred Matthew Yankovic
Weird Al
Al Yankovic
Buttons
Belly
Color
Huge
Maybe
Lint
Make
Tapestry
Button
Taboo

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Until you came along I never dated anyone this low on the food chain.
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In the '80s, I was the only game in town, I was the only one getting that kind of exposure in any rotation on MTV. Now with internet culture it seems like everyone is doing music parodies. And they're not all good!
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I knew we were having problems when you put those piranhas in my bathtub again.
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Left all my Beatle records out in the sun, got a coke bottle stuck on the end of my tongue.
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No Joni Mitchell 8 track tapes in my car.
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How can you get bored if the audience is cheering and laughing at something you're doing?
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I don't really look at myself as the kind of person who craves attention, but I've never been to therapy so there's probably a lot of stuff about myself that I don't know.
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Many years ago I found out something about hamburgers that really grossed me out. You may not know this, so I hope I don’t make you sick, but it turns out hamburgers are actually made out of dead cows. I am not making this up. Needless to say, as soon as I discovered that, I gave up meat entirely.
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Beans, beans, the magic legumes - the more you ingest, the more you consume.
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He put Ben Gay inside my jock strap and filled my tooth paste tube up with glue.
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That's something the kids should know about. Reading is a gateway to witchcraft and lesbianism.
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Pop culture's gotten much more disposable.
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Buy our album, were Nirvana, a garage band from Seattle. Well, it sure beats raising cattle.
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I dated Siamese twins, I slept with Big Foot, too. Get me on Sally Jesse, put me on Donahue.
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As a wise man once said, “April Fools Day is for amateurs. You NEVER need an excuse to mess with people's heads.”
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I'm always a little leery about doing shows where I'm not the headliner because when I first started playing in 1982 I opened for Missing Persons and got pelted for 45 minutes. After that, I made the decision to headline no matter what, even if I was playing to seven people. I wanted people to be there to see me.
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I was a huge fan of 'Mad' magazine when I was 11, 12, 13 years old. I'd scour used bookstores trying to find back issues, and I'd wait at the newsstand for a new issue to come out. My life revolved around it.
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I've always known that if I recorded an album, it would come out, and people would enjoy it! Whereas if I wrote a movie script, chances are better than even that I'd just be another guy in L.A. with a movie script in his drawer.
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I know now that everything I write, I'm going to put out, and I'll have to live with it for the rest of my life.
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So that's why one of my rules of parody writing is that it's gotta be funny regardless of whether you know the source material. It has to work on its own merit.
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