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He put Ben Gay inside my jock strap and filled my tooth paste tube up with glue.

Al Yankovic

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Al Yankovic
Age: 65
Born: 1959
Born: October 23
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Impressionist
Music Video Director
Record Producer
Satirist
Screenwriter
Downey
California
Alfred Matthew Weird Al Yankovic
Alfred Matthew Yankovic
Weird Al
Al Yankovic
Filled
Tube
Inside
Tooth
Retribution
Tubes
Glue
Strap
Revenge
Paste
Teeth
Jock
Gay
Jocks

More quotes by Al Yankovic

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I know I'm a million times as humble as thou art!
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Got a brand new semi-automatic weapon with a laser sight. Oh, I'm praying that somebody tries to break in here tonight.
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There are a lot of songs that would ostensibly be a good candidate for parody, yet I can't think of a clever enough idea.
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Many years ago I found out something about hamburgers that really grossed me out. You may not know this, so I hope I don’t make you sick, but it turns out hamburgers are actually made out of dead cows. I am not making this up. Needless to say, as soon as I discovered that, I gave up meat entirely.
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He died a long painful death. However, you'll be happy to hear that just a few years later he was reincarnated as Shirley MacLaine.
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I'm stranded all alone in the gas station of love, and I have to use the self service pump.
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As it turns out, there is a thing called the Internet, and stuff does go out there whether the suits like it or not.
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Midget wrestling on channel 3, it costs me 50 bucks a month.
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I don't want to pooh-pooh modern pop. I appreciate that as well, but my personal favorite kind of music is guitar-based rock. I like grunge and garage bands and alternative music, but that's more my personal taste.
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You got me stranded on the bungee tower of love.
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I tend to enunciate pretty well. It's always seemed that my voice is one of those voices that people can recognize pretty easily - which has been a bit of a drawback for some characters because you're supposed to lose yourself in the character, but sometimes people look at a character and go Oh, it's 'Weird Al.'
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I was a huge fan of 'Mad' magazine when I was 11, 12, 13 years old. I'd scour used bookstores trying to find back issues, and I'd wait at the newsstand for a new issue to come out. My life revolved around it.
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My wife went off with Elvis.
Al Yankovic
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People say releasing an album is like giving birth, but it’s more like having a gallbladder operation.
Al Yankovic
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I'm always a little leery about doing shows where I'm not the headliner because when I first started playing in 1982 I opened for Missing Persons and got pelted for 45 minutes. After that, I made the decision to headline no matter what, even if I was playing to seven people. I wanted people to be there to see me.
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What kind of morons do you have working at newspapers in Austin that would base an entire review of an artist's performance on whether or not they had a good seat?
Al Yankovic
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Some people want to advertise their weirdness, and spread it out, that's not me.
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My personal taste doesn't enter into it a lot when I make my decisions as to what to parody.
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When I swore that you're getting more and more beautiful everyday. Well, I was only kidding, honey.
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Kind of wish I was dead. Maybe, I'll blow my brains out, mama, or maybe I'll go bowling.
Al Yankovic