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You make me wanna staple bagels to my face, then remove them with a pitchfork.

Al Yankovic

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Al Yankovic
Age: 65
Born: 1959
Born: October 23
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Impressionist
Music Video Director
Record Producer
Satirist
Screenwriter
Downey
California
Alfred Matthew Weird Al Yankovic
Alfred Matthew Yankovic
Weird Al
Al Yankovic
Remove
Face
Faces
Pitchfork
Make
Pitchforks
Bagels
Staple
Staples
Wanna

More quotes by Al Yankovic

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I'm obviously not a rapper, and I don't have any claims to be one, really.
Al Yankovic
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There's a lot of different ways that a song would be a challenge to parody. There are a lot of songs that would ostensibly be a good candidate for parody, yet I can't think of a clever enough idea. Some songs are too repetitive for me to be able to fashion a humorous set of lyrics around. Some songs flat-out just don't work creatively for me.
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Sometimes I get, Have you ever thought about doing real music? I like to think the music I do is real, it just happens to be funny.
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In a genre where most of the artists are one-hit wonders, I've been able to hang around longer than most serious acts. I pride myself in being a very talented leech.
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I enjoy all kinds of music. But it is kind of strange when I do parodies, instead of setting up drums and guitar amps.
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I'd like to be able to be more topical and timely and more of-the-moment and I think the way to do that is, instead of waiting until I have twelve songs to release all at once, just to release them as I come up with them.
Al Yankovic
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I think I'm equally as abusive as the editors normally are for the Letters and Tomatoes column, which is the fan mail part of MAD Magazine and an ongoing feature.
Al Yankovic
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Probably 90 percent of my albums have polka medleys.
Al Yankovic
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Left all my Beatle records out in the sun, got a coke bottle stuck on the end of my tongue.
Al Yankovic
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The window doesn't open, the fan is broke, and my face is turning blue. I haven't been in a crowd like this since I went to see the Who.
Al Yankovic
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How can you get bored if the audience is cheering and laughing at something you're doing?
Al Yankovic
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That's a big part of my life - doing things that I'm not prepared to do. Doing things that I don't know how to do, and keep doing them until I get good at them. I always try to put myself out of my comfort zone and out of my depth, and hopefully somewhere along the line I'll catch up.
Al Yankovic
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I make charts of songs that are good candidates, good targets, so to speak. Then I try to come up with ideas for parodies. And 99% of those ideas are horrible.
Al Yankovic
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I don't like to label myself. I know I'm very hard to pigeonhole.
Al Yankovic
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Somebody will come up to me after a show and have me sign their arm, and the next time I see them my autograph has been permanently inscribed on their arm.
Al Yankovic
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You can play some schlock like New Kids On the Block.
Al Yankovic
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I start with a comprehensive list of all the recent songs that have been big hits - and then I go down that list and see if I can come up with funny ideas for them. I can always come up with ideas, but not necessarily good ones!
Al Yankovic
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One of the hardest things I've had to deal with in my career is keeping my material topical even though I only release albums every three or four years.
Al Yankovic
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You still have Top 40 radio now, but it's 40 different stations. There aren't many hits that everybody knows, and there aren't many real superstars.
Al Yankovic
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You slammed my face down on the barbecue grill, now my scars are all healing, but my heart never will.
Al Yankovic