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I'd rather clean all the bathrooms in Grand Central Station with my tongue than spend one more minute with you.

Al Yankovic

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Al Yankovic
Age: 65
Born: 1959
Born: October 23
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Impressionist
Music Video Director
Record Producer
Satirist
Screenwriter
Downey
California
Alfred Matthew Weird Al Yankovic
Alfred Matthew Yankovic
Weird Al
Al Yankovic
Clean
Bathrooms
Spend
Station
Minutes
Bathroom
Rather
Stations
Grand
Central
Minute
Tongue

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You slammed my face down on the barbecue grill, now my scars are all healing, but my heart never will.
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Boys like Peter are afraid of alot of things, like nuclear annihilation and flunking algebra, but they're not afraid of wolves.
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In the '80s, I was putting out an album virtually every year, I think mostly based on fear - that if I didn't, people would soon forget about me.
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He put Ben Gay inside my jock strap and filled my tooth paste tube up with glue.
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I'm watching the charts every week and hoping something will pop into my head.
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Like, I have had moments, which I think most people have, where you'll be watching TV, and it'll be interrupted by some tragic event, and you'll actually find yourself thinking, 'I don't want to hear about this train being derailed! What happened to 'The Flintstones'?'
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Buy our album, were Nirvana, a garage band from Seattle. Well, it sure beats raising cattle.
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Somebody will come up to me after a show and have me sign their arm, and the next time I see them my autograph has been permanently inscribed on their arm.
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My hobbies just sort of gradually became my vocation.
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Got a brand new semi-automatic weapon with a laser sight. Oh, I'm praying that somebody tries to break in here tonight.
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In fact, when I come up with an idea for a parody I try to resist the urge to Google the idea to see if someone has done it already because the answer is almost always, Yes, of course they have, they've thought of it!
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I did have a child, and I was reading a lot of picture books to her, but at the same time writing a children's book was something that I'd been wanting to do for many years, pretty much since the start of my career.
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I dated Siamese twins, I slept with Big Foot, too. Get me on Sally Jesse, put me on Donahue.
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Sometimes I get, Have you ever thought about doing real music? I like to think the music I do is real, it just happens to be funny.
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My velvet Elvis means the world to me. Although he may not be worth much dough, he means more to me than some old Rembrandt or Van Gogh.
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It doesn't take a military genius to see we'll all be crispy critters after World War III.
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I'm very analytical, I'm very precise.
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I do a lot of different things, sometimes at the same time, and it's very difficult to figure out where I fit.
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As a kid, I certainly never thought I would get to spend my life doing something fun.
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As much as people are griping about the Internet taking sales away from artists, it's been a huge promotional tool for me.
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