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I'd rather clean all the bathrooms in Grand Central Station with my tongue than spend one more minute with you.

Al Yankovic

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Al Yankovic
Age: 65
Born: 1959
Born: October 23
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Impressionist
Music Video Director
Record Producer
Satirist
Screenwriter
Downey
California
Alfred Matthew Weird Al Yankovic
Alfred Matthew Yankovic
Weird Al
Al Yankovic
Tongue
Clean
Bathrooms
Spend
Station
Minutes
Bathroom
Rather
Stations
Grand
Central
Minute

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As much as people are griping about the Internet taking sales away from artists, it's been a huge promotional tool for me.
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There are probably a few library fines I haven't paid yet, but I'm a pretty clean-cut guy overall.
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I know now that everything I write, I'm going to put out, and I'll have to live with it for the rest of my life.
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I knew we were having problems when you put those piranhas in my bathtub again.
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People never ask people doing serious music, 'Do you ever think about doing funny music?'
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If you want to avoid heated arguments, never discuss religion, politics, or whether the toilet paper roll should go over or under.
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Until you came along I never dated anyone this low on the food chain.
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I'm known for being an up, high-energy, and optimistic kind of guy.
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When I go to my live shows it's often a multigenerational audience, a family bonding experience.
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Somebody will come up to me after a show and have me sign their arm, and the next time I see them my autograph has been permanently inscribed on their arm.
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If something is good enough, it can be out there and people will see it.
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You slammed my face down on the barbecue grill, now my scars are all healing, but my heart never will.
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A lot of artists have really been supportive over the years.
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Like, I have had moments, which I think most people have, where you'll be watching TV, and it'll be interrupted by some tragic event, and you'll actually find yourself thinking, 'I don't want to hear about this train being derailed! What happened to 'The Flintstones'?'
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Got a brand new semi-automatic weapon with a laser sight. Oh, I'm praying that somebody tries to break in here tonight.
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I try not to go the obvious route all the time, but sometimes the most obvious is actually the best.
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I've learned how to use my spam filter pretty effectively.
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You still have Top 40 radio now, but it's 40 different stations. There aren't many hits that everybody knows, and there aren't many real superstars.
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As a kid, I certainly never thought I would get to spend my life doing something fun.
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He died a long painful death. However, you'll be happy to hear that just a few years later he was reincarnated as Shirley MacLaine.
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