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You slammed my face down on the barbecue grill, now my scars are all healing, but my heart never will.

Al Yankovic

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Al Yankovic
Age: 65
Born: 1959
Born: October 23
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Impressionist
Music Video Director
Record Producer
Satirist
Screenwriter
Downey
California
Alfred Matthew Weird Al Yankovic
Alfred Matthew Yankovic
Weird Al
Al Yankovic
Healing
Face
Faces
Grill
Heart
Slammed
Never
Barbecue
Scars
Scar
Sadness

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Velvet Elvis never puts on weight.
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I write and write and write, and then I edit it down to the parts that I think are amusing, or that help the storyline, or I'll write a notebook full of ideas of anecdotes or story points, and then I'll try and arrange them in a way that they would tell a semi-cohesive story.
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I dated Siamese twins, I slept with Big Foot, too. Get me on Sally Jesse, put me on Donahue.
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He put Ben Gay inside my jock strap and filled my tooth paste tube up with glue.
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If money can't buy happiness, then I guess I'll have to rent it.
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Some people want to advertise their weirdness, and spread it out, that's not me.
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Maybe I'll make a huge color tapestry from my belly button lint.
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Whenever I do a parody it's not meant to make you hate anybody's music really.
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Didn't have Nintendo, we just poured salt on snails.
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Nows the time to go for all the gusto you can grab. You'll have plenty of time to be low-key when you're laid out on the slab.
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By the time I'm in the studio recording my parody, 10,000 parodies of that song are on YouTube.
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I don't watch anything on a regular basis - I tend to binge-watch things.
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Beans, beans, the magic legumes - the more you ingest, the more you consume.
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You still have Top 40 radio now, but it's 40 different stations. There aren't many hits that everybody knows, and there aren't many real superstars.
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I'm just a no-good, scum sucking, nose picking, boot licking, sniveling, groveling, worthless hunk of slime.
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At this point I've got a bit of a track record. So people realize that when 'Weird Al' wants to go parody, it's not meant to make them look bad... it's meant to be a tribute.
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I know now that everything I write, I'm going to put out, and I'll have to live with it for the rest of my life.
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What kind of morons do you have working at newspapers in Austin that would base an entire review of an artist's performance on whether or not they had a good seat?
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So I'm one of the few celebrities that got to do a repeat performance on 'The Simpsons,' which I'm very flattered by.
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I'll be mellow when I'm dead.
Al Yankovic