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Today I will masterbate! Okay, that was a mistake. I should have written Today I will masterbate--if I want to!
Al Franken
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Al Franken
Age: 73
Born: 1951
Born: May 21
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Journalist
Politician
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Producer
United States Senator
Manhattan borough
New York City
Alan Stuart Franken
Alan Stuart Al Franken
Okay
Mistake
Written
Today
More quotes by Al Franken
Let's keep the Internet weird. Let's keep the Internet free.
Al Franken
Some of my colleagues seem more interested in using every procedural method possible to keep the Senate from doing anything than they are in creating jobs or helping Americans struggling in a difficult economy.
Al Franken
National security laws must protect national security. But they must also protect the public trust and preserve the ability of an informed electorate to hold its government to account.
Al Franken
My dad never graduated high school. He was a printing salesman. We lived in a two-bedroom, one-bath house in St. Louis Park, Minnesota. We weren't rich - but we felt secure.
Al Franken
Having an actual income can expand your romantic horizons toward the more appealing end of the spectrum.
Al Franken
The Founders who crafted our Constitution and Bill of Rights were careful to draft a Constitution of limited powers - one that would protect Americans' liberty at all times - both in war, and in peace.
Al Franken
Bill Clinton is the greatest president of the 20th century because I played touch football with him.
Al Franken
Armed with nothing more than a Facebook user's phone number and home address, anyone with an Internet connection and a few dollars can obtain personal information they should never have access to, including a user's date of birth, e-mail address, or estimated income.
Al Franken
Well, a lot of politics is communicating with people, and obviously comedy has something to do with that. I've been a producer and led people. Also, being a comedian, you're under pressure.
Al Franken
I want to reclaim 'liberal.' I'm a liberal, and I think most Americans are liberals.
Al Franken
I'm sure I've devoted enough thought to Rush Limbaugh for one lifetime.
Al Franken
Yeah, but you need an experienced radio veteran who is a liberal advocate. And there just hadn't been any radio that did that. And so they weren't trained - they had developed all these bad habits of being objective and balanced and stuff like that.
Al Franken
Why don't we focus on what Afghan women can do? They can cook, bear children, and pray. As I recall, that was fine for our grandmothers.
Al Franken
I had a great time working on the movies, both the major movies I've done. I've had a great time. I like the people in Hollywood a lot.
Al Franken
The next thing I am doing is moving back home to Minnesota and getting involved in politics. I'm looking at a run for Senate in 2008, but in the meantime I am focused on knitting together the progressive network in the upper Midwest.
Al Franken
It's really building Air America that I'm focused on, and for me, that almost only means doing a good show.
Al Franken
I can assure you, this is not about spying on the American people.
Al Franken
Progressives, in a way, are the new conservatives. We want to conserve what we fought to build.
Al Franken
Net neutrality has been in place since the very beginning of the Internet.
Al Franken
It's hard to have that debate around secret programs authorized by secret legal opinions issued by a secret court. Actually, it's impossible to have that debate.
Al Franken
