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Today I will masterbate! Okay, that was a mistake. I should have written Today I will masterbate--if I want to!
Al Franken
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Al Franken
Age: 73
Born: 1951
Born: May 21
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Journalist
Politician
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Producer
United States Senator
Manhattan borough
New York City
Alan Stuart Franken
Alan Stuart Al Franken
Written
Today
Okay
Mistake
More quotes by Al Franken
In our political system, money is power. And that means a few can have a lot more power than the rest. That's bad news for everyone else - and for our democracy itself.
Al Franken
I want a president who can handle a cream soda.
Al Franken
What you see on the campaign trail is me. It's easy being me.
Al Franken
When you encounter seemingly good advice that contradicts other seemingly good advice, ignore them both.
Al Franken
When the president during the campaign said he was against nation building, I didn't realize he meant our nation.
Al Franken
The civil rights movement was very important in my house, and then Vietnam was very important 'cause there were two boys, so I came of age during a very heated political climate.
Al Franken
I don't think I'm an angry person. I think I'm a person who's angry. I'm angry at the Bush administration I'm angry at the right wing media. And by that I don't mean the media is right wing. I mean, there is a part of the media that's not the mainstream media. That's Fox, that is 'The Wall Street Journal' editorial page.
Al Franken
The way I see it, I'm not going to Washington to be the 60th Democratic senator. I'm going to Washington to be the second senator from the state of Minnesota.
Al Franken
At 'SNL,' I wrote political stuff, but I never felt the show should have an axe to grind. But when I left in '95, I could let my own beliefs out.
Al Franken
If you use a cell phone - as I do - your wireless carrier likely has records about your physical movements going back months, if not years.
Al Franken
My parents didn't make a lot of money. My dad was not a high school graduate - he didn't have a career as such he was a printing salesman essentially for most of his working life.
Al Franken
The Fourth Amendment doesn't apply to corporations.
Al Franken
The nature of the Internet and the importance of net neutrality is that innovation can come from everyone.
Al Franken
Terrorism, to me, is the use of terror for political purpose, and terror is indiscriminate murder of civilians to make a political point.
Al Franken
It's hard for a liberal to go on between Sean Hannity and Rush Limbaugh, because it's like doing country music after hip-hop. I mean, just, the audience doesn't go from one to the other.
Al Franken
Humor and seriousness are not in opposition to each other.
Al Franken
Teen pregnancy went way down in the '90s, and 75 percent of it was because of increased use of contraception.
Al Franken
Russia has a strategy of creating the conditions that give rise to corruption, then exploiting that corruption to its own benefit.
Al Franken
Comedy to the Senate? Well, there certainly hasn't been a satirist or a political satirist who's done that. So, that really was uncharted territory during the campaign. But I think it's a good thing. Some people thought that it was an odd career arc, but to me it made absolute sense.
Al Franken
Most Americans don’t think about antitrust law when they look at their cable bill, flip channels on TV, or worry about what their favorite website knows about them. But they should.
Al Franken
