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Today I will masterbate! Okay, that was a mistake. I should have written Today I will masterbate--if I want to!
Al Franken
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Al Franken
Age: 73
Born: 1951
Born: May 21
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Journalist
Politician
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Producer
United States Senator
Manhattan borough
New York City
Alan Stuart Franken
Alan Stuart Al Franken
Mistake
Written
Today
Okay
More quotes by Al Franken
Having an actual income can expand your romantic horizons toward the more appealing end of the spectrum.
Al Franken
I think if you're going to do a movie about Reagan, you do it about the fact that he created the huge deficit, that he armed the Mujahideen, that he armed Saddam, that he armed Iran, that he armed two-thirds of the Axis of Evil, and that he funded terrorists in Central America. He was, in my mind, a terrible president.
Al Franken
Well, I think that there's a value to comedy in and of itself.
Al Franken
Bob Dole used to be really funny. Barney Frank can be kind of funny. Bob Kerrey has a good sense of humor.
Al Franken
When the president during the campaign said he was against nation building, I didn't realize he meant our nation.
Al Franken
Technology is an incredible tool - it connects people to each other, creates jobs all over the world, and makes life easier for millions of Americans.
Al Franken
Liberals like me love America. We just love America in a different way.
Al Franken
There is - I mean - I found early in life that righteous indignation is a little off-putting, and so I try to couch it with humor.
Al Franken
The Minnesotans I talk to are really concerned about what the future holds for their families. They're trying to pay for health care and send their kids to college, they're worried about declining home values, they're scared for a loved one they have serving in Iraq.
Al Franken
Liberals don't hate America. We love America more than Ann Coulter does. I love it enough to engage my readers honestly.
Al Franken
My spiritual life is... sometimes I have access to it and sometimes I don't. When I do have access to it, it's usually a sense of my understanding what the best course of action or the best thing for me to do. By best, I mean when I have a real sense of doing the right thing and doing good for people and the connected universe of everybody.
Al Franken
When I first started writing for television in the seventies and eighties, the Internet didn't exist, and we didn't need to worry about foreign websites illegally distributing the latest TV shows and blockbuster movies online.
Al Franken
If someone hacks your password, you can change it - as many times as you want. You can’t change your fingerprints. You have only ten of them. And you leave them on everything you touch they are definitely not a secret.
Al Franken
I'm sure I've devoted enough thought to Rush Limbaugh for one lifetime.
Al Franken
In our political system, money is power. And that means a few can have a lot more power than the rest. That's bad news for everyone else - and for our democracy itself.
Al Franken
Let's not let the government sell us out. Let's fight for net neutrality.
Al Franken
The government must give proper weight to both keeping America safe from terrorists and protecting Americans' privacy. But when Americans lack the most basic information about our domestic surveillance programs, they have no way of knowing whether we're getting that balance right. This lack of transparency is a big problem.
Al Franken
Apple has long been a leading innovator of mobile technology I myself own an iPhone.
Al Franken
I don’t know how many of you have been to New York, but if a building is two blocks away from anything, you can’t see it.
Al Franken
Net neutrality has been in place since the very beginning of the Internet.
Al Franken
