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I spent most of my seventh grade summer dehydrated, green-tongued, and smelling like a Malaysian whorehouse.

Aisha Tyler

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Aisha Tyler
Age: 54
Born: 1970
Born: September 18
Actor
Actress
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Editor
Film Producer
Improviser
Podcaster
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
San Francisco County
California
Aisha Nilaja Tyler
Seventh
Grade
Grades
Spent
Summer
Tongued
Green
Dehydrated
Like
Whorehouse
Smelling

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Sometimes the mistake I see people make is thinking that they're always going to be up, and I think that's impossible for anyone.
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Am I going to complain about being typecast as smart? I don't think so.
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Nothing really worth having is easy to get. The hard-fought battles, the goals won with sacrifice, are the ones that matter.
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When I get old and slow down I want to look behind me and see all the fire and the wreckage and no stone left unturned.
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Karaoke is the great equalizer.
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I think I was only attracted to drunken douches before I got married.
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I don't know if I was always an open person, but I think stand-up comics specifically have this way of running towards embarrassing things - whereas regular people tend to run away - because the embarrassing story is always going to be the really funny story.
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I think diversity in television is important. It's not about trying to fill a quota or satisfy some idea of diversity, but I think what diversity brings to any daypart is more eyeballs, just more opportunity.
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I'm the kindest, most supportive friend ever, probably to my own detriment, but I hope that I am toughening up a little bit.
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I grew up on the back of a motorcycle - my dad didn't have a car until I was a teenager. And then my closest friend from grade school was a guy.
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I've always been a gamer, and I had a period where I was gaming at a really hardcore level.
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They always say some women like to fix people. I don't like to fix people, but you like a challenge.
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No one wants to hear about how awesome you were people want to hear about the time you blew it. So I think the longer you do stand-up, the more comfortable you are. You stop wanting to hide your foibles and instead want to show who you are.
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I have one girlfriend who is dating right now - she's divorced - and she's on Tinder, so we play Tinder. I know that's not a real game, but it's my favorite thing to do.
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I'm black, and black don't crack. It does droop.
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I thought I was gonna be an attorney, so I went to Dartmouth and I was a government major and I minored in environmental policy, and I didn't do anything academically around the arts.
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I really do know football.
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Wounds turn into scars and scars make you tough.
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Maybe the nails are a little stubby and gnawed on, but I definitely do not have man hands.
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I take the most wrenchingly painful moments of my life, brush them off and present them for the amusement of others. Luckily for me, my childhood was torture.
Aisha Tyler