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It is all about numbers. It is all about sequence. It's the mathematical logic of being alive. If everything kept to its normal progression, we would live with the sadness-cry and then walk-but what really breaks us cleanest are the losses that happen out of order.

Aimee Bender

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Aimee Bender
Age: 55
Born: 1969
Born: June 28
Novelist
Writer
the United States of America
Life
Alive
Kept
Cleanest
Break
Cry
Losses
Order
Loss
Progression
Happens
Normal
Sequence
Live
Walk
Breaks
Everything
Walks
Mathematical
Really
Numbers
Sadness
Would
Happen
Logic

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Not getting bored of my own story and/or character is one of the main struggles I have had with novel writing, and I have put to bed big chunks of work that just didn't sustain my interest.
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Mom loved my brother more. Not that she didn't love me - I felt the wash of her love every day, pouring over me, but it was a different kind, siphoned from a different, and tamer, body of water. I was her darling daughter Joseph was her it.
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While she cut the mushrooms, she cried more than she had at the grave, the most so far, because she found the saddest thing of all to be the simple truth of her capacity to move on.
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I knew if I ate anything of hers again, it would lkely tell me the same message: help me, I am not happy, help me -- like a message in a bottle sent in each meal to the eater, and I got it. I got the message.
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As a writer you ask yourself to dream while awake.
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The wine glasses are empty except for that one undrinkable red spot at the bottom.
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You try, you seem totally nuts, you go underground.
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It seemed to happen in springs, the revealing of things.
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I was with them for all of it, but more like an echo than a participant.
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I peeled the skin off a grape in slippery little triangles, and I understood then that I would be undressing every item of food I could because my clothes would be staying on.
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