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I've been punched by a vampire, an Indian girl, and a panda... I should be a video game.

Adam Rex

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Adam Rex
Age: 51
Born: 1973
Born: May 16
Illustrator
Writer
Dayton
Ohio
Adam Michael Rex
Pandas
Punched
Vampire
Indian
Video
Game
Games
Girl
Panda

More quotes by Adam Rex

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They can't expect anyone to actually pay for a shirt that says, 'I (picture of an elephant) the San Diego Zoo.' What does that even mean?
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Regarding stickyfish teams, I favor the Bigfield Fighting Koobish.
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What part of Canada are you from, honey? THE LEFT PART, said Jay.
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[J.Lo] found us a police car. Sort of. 'It's not a police car,' I said. 'It is,' said J.Lo. 'Looknow. Lights for flashing.' 'That's true.' 'Writing on the sides.' 'Yeah, but the writing? It says ''BullShake Party Patrol.'' Yes. Whatnow?
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Magic likes a good tragedy, too.
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There was less than I’d expected in the rainy-day fund that Mom had kept in the bottom of an underwear drawer in a panty hose egg labeled ‘DEAD SPIDERS.’ As if I hadn’t always known it was there. As if I wouldn’t want to look at dead spiders.
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The United States was a big country where everybody wore funny t-shirts and ate too much.
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Can I see some ID? WE DON'T HAVE ID, said Jay, loudly. 'CAUSE WE'RE CANADIAN. WE DON'T USE ID...THERE. AND THAT'S WHY WE LOOK SO YOUNG. 'CAUSE WE'RE CANADIAN. Doug stiffened. Jay sounded crazy. Doug tried looking extra sane to even things out.
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Wherefor are you knowing it? If you stacked all of the Gorg in the galaxy on top of eachother, the Gorg would kill you.
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The Freemen have 987 levels of membership, the first three of which are achieved merely by filling out an application. The 8th level is granted upon full acceptance into the local lodge, the 13th following Initiation, the 21st at the end of the Initiate's second week, and the 89th the first time he brings snacks.
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...Almost everything inside was filled with sugar, cheese, and weight-loss tips.
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Then it suddenly and theatrically began to clean itself in the way cats do when they want you to know what a big deal you aren't.
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You can do terrible things when you don't know who you are.
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We found the bathrooms, which were labeled 'Aliens' and 'Femaliens.' 'Finally,' I said to J.Lo. 'Here's a bathroom you're allowed to use.
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I spy, with my little eye, something that starts with ... G. Sausages.
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I was the funny, outgoing kid who didn't understand how he could keep getting mistaken for a nerd nobody liked.
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The Boov frowned. 'Everybodies always is wanting to make a clone for to doing their work. If you are not wanting to do your work, why would a clone of you want to do your work?
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Is there a short-eared koobish, then?' Mmmyes ...' said J.Lo. 'But it is technically not really a koobish. Is more alike a kind of singing pumpkin.' We had conversations like these all the time, where I just eventually gave up.
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As far as pets go, a cat is a nice on to have.
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For the gentle werelibrarian, who's strictly vegetarian, there's nothing like Tofillager the MEATLESS TOFU VILLAGER
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