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We found the bathrooms, which were labeled 'Aliens' and 'Femaliens.' 'Finally,' I said to J.Lo. 'Here's a bathroom you're allowed to use.

Adam Rex

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Adam Rex
Age: 51
Born: 1973
Born: May 16
Illustrator
Writer
Dayton
Ohio
Adam Michael Rex
Bathrooms
Labeled
Bathroom
Aliens
Allowed
Finally
Use
Found

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As far as pets go, a cat is a nice on to have.
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I was the funny, outgoing kid who didn't understand how he could keep getting mistaken for a nerd nobody liked.
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Is there a short-eared koobish, then?' Mmmyes ...' said J.Lo. 'But it is technically not really a koobish. Is more alike a kind of singing pumpkin.' We had conversations like these all the time, where I just eventually gave up.
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I've been punched by a vampire, an Indian girl, and a panda... I should be a video game.
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There's a little bit of magic in every box!
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What part of Canada are you from, honey? THE LEFT PART, said Jay.
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Wherefor are you knowing it? If you stacked all of the Gorg in the galaxy on top of eachother, the Gorg would kill you.
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[J.Lo] found us a police car. Sort of. 'It's not a police car,' I said. 'It is,' said J.Lo. 'Looknow. Lights for flashing.' 'That's true.' 'Writing on the sides.' 'Yeah, but the writing? It says ''BullShake Party Patrol.'' Yes. Whatnow?
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There was less than I’d expected in the rainy-day fund that Mom had kept in the bottom of an underwear drawer in a panty hose egg labeled ‘DEAD SPIDERS.’ As if I hadn’t always known it was there. As if I wouldn’t want to look at dead spiders.
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The United States was a big country where everybody wore funny t-shirts and ate too much.
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They can't expect anyone to actually pay for a shirt that says, 'I (picture of an elephant) the San Diego Zoo.' What does that even mean?
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For the gentle werelibrarian, who's strictly vegetarian, there's nothing like Tofillager the MEATLESS TOFU VILLAGER
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I spy, with my little eye, something that starts with ... G. Sausages.
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Magic likes a good tragedy, too.
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Then it suddenly and theatrically began to clean itself in the way cats do when they want you to know what a big deal you aren't.
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...Almost everything inside was filled with sugar, cheese, and weight-loss tips.
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Can I see some ID? WE DON'T HAVE ID, said Jay, loudly. 'CAUSE WE'RE CANADIAN. WE DON'T USE ID...THERE. AND THAT'S WHY WE LOOK SO YOUNG. 'CAUSE WE'RE CANADIAN. Doug stiffened. Jay sounded crazy. Doug tried looking extra sane to even things out.
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