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I love to believe that there's one god but there's many different religions so there's just the question of which long distance company you pick.

Adam Ferrara

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Adam Ferrara
Age: 58
Born: 1966
Born: February 2
Actor
Comedian
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Queens
New York
Company
Many
Different
Long
Religions
Believe
Pick
Love
Picks
Distance
Question

More quotes by Adam Ferrara

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Being in a relationship is like being in A.A. My friends ask me, 'How's it going with that girl?' 'One day at a time, man.'
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As soon as you lay down, that's when the most bizarre things start coming out of her mouth. 'Goodnight, baby.' 'Do you think we were together in a past life?' 'Yeah, and I died of sleep deprivation. Go to bed.' 'Don't you feel like we're soul...'
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I am a Catholic. Basically, the Catholic religion is 'If it feels good - stop.'
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I look to nature because I think the animals are smarter than we are. Animals mate humans date. There's no dating in the animal kingdom. No dinner, no movie - just a quick sniff, 'Alright, let's go.'
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One day in the shower, you figure it out. It's a special day in a man's life. I was like, 'Oh, I found me a hobby.'
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Whenever she uses the phrase 'I was thinking...,' that means I either have to move, paint or buy something.
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If you look at a group of people that had faith, it's got to be the Jews. They followed Moses through the desert for 40 years with no map. There had to be one guy in the back, like, 'I don't think he knows where he's going.'
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You gotta fight. You gotta get out the negative energy. Don't let it build up. You end up screaming at each other over something totally stupid, like, 'Well, why'd you put this spoon in this drawer then?' 'Just to p-s you off, that's why! I got spoons hidden all over this house! Keep it up, and your napkin rings are gonna start disappearing.'
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My favorite Catholic holiday is Easter. For those of you that don't know, Easter is the day we celebrate Jesus rising from the grave and coming back to Earth as a rabbit that hides colored eggs.
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My dad was a big car guy. If you wanted to spend time with my dad, he was working on the car.
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I don't think it's fair - you get married, you give your wife a wedding ring. I think you should give her a mood ring. Oh, it may sound crass, but just check the color when you come home. 'Hi honey. Infernal red? Oh boy, I ain't getting laid, and I gotta cut the lawn, I know it.'
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Sex is important to guys. We need stories to tell our friends.
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What if God's a woman? Not only am I going to hell, I'll never know why!
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There were many reasons we broke up. There was a religious difference: I'm a Catholic, and she's the devil.
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The human body is in constant change the minute we're born. It's in a constant state of decay. We're all like Ford Escorts, just falling apart.
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I talk a lot about women in my act, 'cause let's face it -- if I was hungry, I would talk about food.
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Ladies, your happiness is very important to us. You have to understand that. Because when you're happy, you let us touch you.
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The biggest thing in my life right now is my girlfriend. I love this girl. I know I love her because she told me.
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I sincerely want to meet the girl that was meant for me, but I want to sleep with the girls that weren't.
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I love my girlfriend, don't get me wrong. I truly love this woman, but I have the ability to have sex without any emotional involvement. It's a gift.
Adam Ferrara