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I love to believe that there's one god but there's many different religions so there's just the question of which long distance company you pick.

Adam Ferrara

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Adam Ferrara
Age: 58
Born: 1966
Born: February 2
Actor
Comedian
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Queens
New York
Question
Company
Many
Different
Long
Religions
Believe
Pick
Love
Picks
Distance

More quotes by Adam Ferrara

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I sincerely want to meet the girl that was meant for me, but I want to sleep with the girls that weren't.
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Men tend to lie when it comes to sexual conquests. You should hear some of the ego-driven lies my friends have told me: 'Swear to God, man - the hooker gave the money back.'
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The biggest thing in my life right now is my girlfriend. I love this girl. I know I love her because she told me.
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I don't think it's fair - you get married, you give your wife a wedding ring. I think you should give her a mood ring. Oh, it may sound crass, but just check the color when you come home. 'Hi honey. Infernal red? Oh boy, I ain't getting laid, and I gotta cut the lawn, I know it.'
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Ladies, your happiness is very important to us. You have to understand that. Because when you're happy, you let us touch you.
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My girlfriend wants to get married. I tell you - I hope she meets somebody nice.
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There were many reasons we broke up. There was a religious difference: I'm a Catholic, and she's the devil.
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My father tried to give me the sex talk once, and he chickened out. He walked into my room and went, 'Adam - uh, don't kiss guys.'
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The human body is in constant change the minute we're born. It's in a constant state of decay. We're all like Ford Escorts, just falling apart.
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The girls are beautiful in Hollywood - and enough silicon to caulk a sink.
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I look to nature because I think the animals are smarter than we are. Animals mate humans date. There's no dating in the animal kingdom. No dinner, no movie - just a quick sniff, 'Alright, let's go.'
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I know she's just trying to make things nice, so I do my part. Now, when I get up to use the bathroom in the middle of the night, I turn on the light. I used to just go by sonar: just keep peeing 'til you hear water.
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I got into cars through my father. He used to work on cars. My job was to hold the light, which pretty much was the limit of my mechanical abilities.
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You gotta fight. You gotta get out the negative energy. Don't let it build up. You end up screaming at each other over something totally stupid, like, 'Well, why'd you put this spoon in this drawer then?' 'Just to p-s you off, that's why! I got spoons hidden all over this house! Keep it up, and your napkin rings are gonna start disappearing.'
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My dad was a big car guy. If you wanted to spend time with my dad, he was working on the car.
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I love that magazine, man - Victoria's Secret - and it comes, like, every three hours.
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I am a Catholic. Basically, the Catholic religion is 'If it feels good - stop.'
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I talk a lot about women in my act, 'cause let's face it -- if I was hungry, I would talk about food.
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If you're in California and it's raining, stay home, because nobody can drive in the rain. It's like it's raining frogs. They're terrified.
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Whenever she uses the phrase 'I was thinking...,' that means I either have to move, paint or buy something.
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