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I love to believe that there's one god but there's many different religions so there's just the question of which long distance company you pick.

Adam Ferrara

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Adam Ferrara
Age: 58
Born: 1966
Born: February 2
Actor
Comedian
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Queens
New York
Company
Many
Different
Long
Religions
Believe
Pick
Love
Picks
Distance
Question

More quotes by Adam Ferrara

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The only marriage I've observed for any length of time is my parents - 35 years. I asked my pop, I go, 'Pop, 35 years - what do you hope for?' He's like, 'I hope you die first.'
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I talk a lot about women in my act, 'cause let's face it -- if I was hungry, I would talk about food.
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Ladies, your happiness is very important to us. You have to understand that. Because when you're happy, you let us touch you.
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My father tried to give me the sex talk once, and he chickened out. He walked into my room and went, 'Adam - uh, don't kiss guys.'
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I sincerely want to meet the girl that was meant for me, but I want to sleep with the girls that weren't.
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The biggest thing in my life right now is my girlfriend. I love this girl. I know I love her because she told me.
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The girls are beautiful in Hollywood - and enough silicon to caulk a sink.
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I love that magazine, man - Victoria's Secret - and it comes, like, every three hours.
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One day in the shower, you figure it out. It's a special day in a man's life. I was like, 'Oh, I found me a hobby.'
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I don't think I'll ever meet the perfect woman. I might have to get me one of them mail order women. You can do that: you send away to the Philippines, and they send you a wife. The only thing is, once you're on their mailing list, they keep sending you a relative a month whether you want it or not.
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What if God's a woman? Not only am I going to hell, I'll never know why!
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My girlfriend wants to get married. I tell you - I hope she meets somebody nice.
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I love my girlfriend, don't get me wrong. I truly love this woman, but I have the ability to have sex without any emotional involvement. It's a gift.
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Being in a relationship is like being in A.A. My friends ask me, 'How's it going with that girl?' 'One day at a time, man.'
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I got into cars through my father. He used to work on cars. My job was to hold the light, which pretty much was the limit of my mechanical abilities.
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The human body is in constant change the minute we're born. It's in a constant state of decay. We're all like Ford Escorts, just falling apart.
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I know she's just trying to make things nice, so I do my part. Now, when I get up to use the bathroom in the middle of the night, I turn on the light. I used to just go by sonar: just keep peeing 'til you hear water.
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There were many reasons we broke up. There was a religious difference: I'm a Catholic, and she's the devil.
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My favorite Catholic holiday is Easter. For those of you that don't know, Easter is the day we celebrate Jesus rising from the grave and coming back to Earth as a rabbit that hides colored eggs.
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If you're in California and it's raining, stay home, because nobody can drive in the rain. It's like it's raining frogs. They're terrified.
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