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I love my girlfriend, don't get me wrong. I truly love this woman, but I have the ability to have sex without any emotional involvement. It's a gift.

Adam Ferrara

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Adam Ferrara
Age: 58
Born: 1966
Born: February 2
Actor
Comedian
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Queens
New York
Without
Sex
Love
Truly
Emotional
Humor
Wrong
Ability
Involvement
Funny
Girlfriend
Woman
Gift

More quotes by Adam Ferrara

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What if God's a woman? Not only am I going to hell, I'll never know why!
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My favorite Catholic holiday is Easter. For those of you that don't know, Easter is the day we celebrate Jesus rising from the grave and coming back to Earth as a rabbit that hides colored eggs.
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The biggest thing in my life right now is my girlfriend. I love this girl. I know I love her because she told me.
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You gotta fight. You gotta get out the negative energy. Don't let it build up. You end up screaming at each other over something totally stupid, like, 'Well, why'd you put this spoon in this drawer then?' 'Just to p-s you off, that's why! I got spoons hidden all over this house! Keep it up, and your napkin rings are gonna start disappearing.'
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I don't think it's fair - you get married, you give your wife a wedding ring. I think you should give her a mood ring. Oh, it may sound crass, but just check the color when you come home. 'Hi honey. Infernal red? Oh boy, I ain't getting laid, and I gotta cut the lawn, I know it.'
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My dad was a big car guy. If you wanted to spend time with my dad, he was working on the car.
Adam Ferrara
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I talk a lot about women in my act, 'cause let's face it -- if I was hungry, I would talk about food.
Adam Ferrara
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One day in the shower, you figure it out. It's a special day in a man's life. I was like, 'Oh, I found me a hobby.'
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The human body is in constant change the minute we're born. It's in a constant state of decay. We're all like Ford Escorts, just falling apart.
Adam Ferrara
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The only marriage I've observed for any length of time is my parents - 35 years. I asked my pop, I go, 'Pop, 35 years - what do you hope for?' He's like, 'I hope you die first.'
Adam Ferrara
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Ladies, your happiness is very important to us. You have to understand that. Because when you're happy, you let us touch you.
Adam Ferrara
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I love that magazine, man - Victoria's Secret - and it comes, like, every three hours.
Adam Ferrara
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I don't think I'll ever meet the perfect woman. I might have to get me one of them mail order women. You can do that: you send away to the Philippines, and they send you a wife. The only thing is, once you're on their mailing list, they keep sending you a relative a month whether you want it or not.
Adam Ferrara
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I am a Catholic. Basically, the Catholic religion is 'If it feels good - stop.'
Adam Ferrara
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There were many reasons we broke up. There was a religious difference: I'm a Catholic, and she's the devil.
Adam Ferrara
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The girls are beautiful in Hollywood - and enough silicon to caulk a sink.
Adam Ferrara
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I got into cars through my father. He used to work on cars. My job was to hold the light, which pretty much was the limit of my mechanical abilities.
Adam Ferrara
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As soon as you lay down, that's when the most bizarre things start coming out of her mouth. 'Goodnight, baby.' 'Do you think we were together in a past life?' 'Yeah, and I died of sleep deprivation. Go to bed.' 'Don't you feel like we're soul...'
Adam Ferrara
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My father tried to give me the sex talk once, and he chickened out. He walked into my room and went, 'Adam - uh, don't kiss guys.'
Adam Ferrara
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I look to nature because I think the animals are smarter than we are. Animals mate humans date. There's no dating in the animal kingdom. No dinner, no movie - just a quick sniff, 'Alright, let's go.'
Adam Ferrara