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Ladies, your happiness is very important to us. You have to understand that. Because when you're happy, you let us touch you.

Adam Ferrara

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Adam Ferrara
Age: 58
Born: 1966
Born: February 2
Actor
Comedian
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Queens
New York
Humor
Happiness
Happy
Funny
Understand
Important
Ladies
Touch

More quotes by Adam Ferrara

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If you're in California and it's raining, stay home, because nobody can drive in the rain. It's like it's raining frogs. They're terrified.
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Sex is important to guys. We need stories to tell our friends.
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There were many reasons we broke up. There was a religious difference: I'm a Catholic, and she's the devil.
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As soon as you lay down, that's when the most bizarre things start coming out of her mouth. 'Goodnight, baby.' 'Do you think we were together in a past life?' 'Yeah, and I died of sleep deprivation. Go to bed.' 'Don't you feel like we're soul...'
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Being in a relationship is like being in A.A. My friends ask me, 'How's it going with that girl?' 'One day at a time, man.'
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I love that magazine, man - Victoria's Secret - and it comes, like, every three hours.
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My dad was a big car guy. If you wanted to spend time with my dad, he was working on the car.
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The biggest thing in my life right now is my girlfriend. I love this girl. I know I love her because she told me.
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I am a Catholic. Basically, the Catholic religion is 'If it feels good - stop.'
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The human body is in constant change the minute we're born. It's in a constant state of decay. We're all like Ford Escorts, just falling apart.
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My girlfriend wants to get married. I tell you - I hope she meets somebody nice.
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You gotta fight. You gotta get out the negative energy. Don't let it build up. You end up screaming at each other over something totally stupid, like, 'Well, why'd you put this spoon in this drawer then?' 'Just to p-s you off, that's why! I got spoons hidden all over this house! Keep it up, and your napkin rings are gonna start disappearing.'
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I love to believe that there's one god but there's many different religions so there's just the question of which long distance company you pick.
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I know she's just trying to make things nice, so I do my part. Now, when I get up to use the bathroom in the middle of the night, I turn on the light. I used to just go by sonar: just keep peeing 'til you hear water.
Adam Ferrara
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The girls are beautiful in Hollywood - and enough silicon to caulk a sink.
Adam Ferrara
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The only marriage I've observed for any length of time is my parents - 35 years. I asked my pop, I go, 'Pop, 35 years - what do you hope for?' He's like, 'I hope you die first.'
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My father tried to give me the sex talk once, and he chickened out. He walked into my room and went, 'Adam - uh, don't kiss guys.'
Adam Ferrara
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If you look at a group of people that had faith, it's got to be the Jews. They followed Moses through the desert for 40 years with no map. There had to be one guy in the back, like, 'I don't think he knows where he's going.'
Adam Ferrara
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Whenever she uses the phrase 'I was thinking...,' that means I either have to move, paint or buy something.
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What if God's a woman? Not only am I going to hell, I'll never know why!
Adam Ferrara