Quote

The human body is in constant change the minute we're born. It's in a constant state of decay. We're all like Ford Escorts, just falling apart.

Adam Ferrara

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Adam Ferrara
Age: 58
Born: 1966
Born: February 2
Actor
Comedian
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Queens
New York
Body
Humor
Human
Minutes
Escorts
Humans
State
Ford
Like
Funny
Decay
Born
Falling
Fall
Minute
Change
Apart
States
Constant

More quotes by Adam Ferrara

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I don't think I'll ever meet the perfect woman. I might have to get me one of them mail order women. You can do that: you send away to the Philippines, and they send you a wife. The only thing is, once you're on their mailing list, they keep sending you a relative a month whether you want it or not.
Adam Ferrara
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There were many reasons we broke up. There was a religious difference: I'm a Catholic, and she's the devil.
Adam Ferrara
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Whenever she uses the phrase 'I was thinking...,' that means I either have to move, paint or buy something.
Adam Ferrara
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What if God's a woman? Not only am I going to hell, I'll never know why!
Adam Ferrara
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If you look at a group of people that had faith, it's got to be the Jews. They followed Moses through the desert for 40 years with no map. There had to be one guy in the back, like, 'I don't think he knows where he's going.'
Adam Ferrara
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I look to nature because I think the animals are smarter than we are. Animals mate humans date. There's no dating in the animal kingdom. No dinner, no movie - just a quick sniff, 'Alright, let's go.'
Adam Ferrara
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Men tend to lie when it comes to sexual conquests. You should hear some of the ego-driven lies my friends have told me: 'Swear to God, man - the hooker gave the money back.'
Adam Ferrara
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The only marriage I've observed for any length of time is my parents - 35 years. I asked my pop, I go, 'Pop, 35 years - what do you hope for?' He's like, 'I hope you die first.'
Adam Ferrara
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My dad was a big car guy. If you wanted to spend time with my dad, he was working on the car.
Adam Ferrara
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I think human arrogance will be the demise of civilization.
Adam Ferrara
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The biggest thing in my life right now is my girlfriend. I love this girl. I know I love her because she told me.
Adam Ferrara
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I don't think it's fair - you get married, you give your wife a wedding ring. I think you should give her a mood ring. Oh, it may sound crass, but just check the color when you come home. 'Hi honey. Infernal red? Oh boy, I ain't getting laid, and I gotta cut the lawn, I know it.'
Adam Ferrara
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I sincerely want to meet the girl that was meant for me, but I want to sleep with the girls that weren't.
Adam Ferrara
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As soon as you lay down, that's when the most bizarre things start coming out of her mouth. 'Goodnight, baby.' 'Do you think we were together in a past life?' 'Yeah, and I died of sleep deprivation. Go to bed.' 'Don't you feel like we're soul...'
Adam Ferrara
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Ladies, your happiness is very important to us. You have to understand that. Because when you're happy, you let us touch you.
Adam Ferrara
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I am a Catholic. Basically, the Catholic religion is 'If it feels good - stop.'
Adam Ferrara
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I love my girlfriend, don't get me wrong. I truly love this woman, but I have the ability to have sex without any emotional involvement. It's a gift.
Adam Ferrara
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Being in a relationship is like being in A.A. My friends ask me, 'How's it going with that girl?' 'One day at a time, man.'
Adam Ferrara
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I talk a lot about women in my act, 'cause let's face it -- if I was hungry, I would talk about food.
Adam Ferrara
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My favorite Catholic holiday is Easter. For those of you that don't know, Easter is the day we celebrate Jesus rising from the grave and coming back to Earth as a rabbit that hides colored eggs.
Adam Ferrara